[Flint]

My 17-year old cat keeps aggressively wanting to escape outside the house and wander around. We live out in the country. I think he's looking for a place to lay down and die. He's very old, doesn't have much muscle mass left.

A few days ago he got out and we couldn't find him. I thought he escaped into the woods and we'd never see him again. I told my kids.. sometimes very old animals want to find a quiet place to lay down and go to sleep. And sometimes they want to go to sleep in a quiet place, and have it be the last time they go to sleep.. and not wake back up. "Do you understand?" I asked. They did.

Eventually he came back inside. We fed him some chicken.

I cried.. a lot.

I cried because he's the oldest friend I have around. I've known him longer than my wife, my kids, longer than every single person I know who lives here in my new home state of Oregon.

I cried because, after my wife left me and I was living alone, miserable, in a high rise apartment in Portland, working a remote IT job and having no human contact, he was the only one who was there with me through it all. He would lay in bed with me when I was depressed.

My bond with him is deeper and more enduring than I can even put into words.



I've been preparing for this for about a year now.

We got a hamster, a couple of rabbits, even another cat. That's to soften the blow for the kids. But it doesn't do anything for me. When he dies I will be losing a friend that has been with me through two marriages, three states, my entire career, the birth of my children. He's been a constant in my life since I was in my twenties.


ƒuckin' stupid idiot cat