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Old 01-23-2004, 11:44 AM   #77
Lady Sidhe
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it....
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Hammond, La.
Posts: 978
Jesus, Moses, and an old man were playing golf.
Moses tees up, and makes a beautiful shot..unfortunately, the ball is headed straight for a water hazard. Suddenly, the waters part, the ball rolls through, and comes two feet from the hole.
Jesus said, "Good shot, Moses."
Then Jesus tees up, and again, it's a beautiful shot. However, his ball is also headed straight for the water hazard. When it gets there, the ball skips across the water, and comes one foot from the hold.
Moses says, "good shot, Jesus."
Then the old guy tees up. Beautiful shot...headed straight to the water hazard. when it gets there, it plops right into the water....a fish then breaks the surface, with the ball in its mouth. A hawk swoops down and grabs the it's flying, the fish drops the ball, and a squirrel runs down a tree trunk, grabs the ball, and drops it into the hole.

Jesus said, "good shot, dad."

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi were sitting around having coffee one day, and got onto the subject of how they distributed offerings. The rabbi said, "we have a pretty good system, I think. I take a piece of string, make a circle on my desk, throw up the offering plate, and whatever lands inside the circle goes to God, whatever lands outside the circle goes to the church."
They all nodded, and the minister said, "that's a pretty good system, but I think ours is better. I take a piece of string, separate my office into halves with it, and then stand on it and throw the offering plate up. Whatever lands on the right goes to God, whatever lands on the left goes to the church."
The priest smiled, and said, "We in the Catholic church have a foolproof method for division of the offering. I stand in the middle of my office, throw up the offering plate, and yell, "KEEP WHAT YOU WANT!"

My free will...I never leave home without it.

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
-Rita Rudner

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