Sure, I would expect you to want to participate, and certainly expect you to be given the opportunity by whoever is in charge. Getting prepared is another way for you to deal with this horrible development.
However, paying respect to the living, not so much. There were a mob of people at my father's funeral because of his years in politics and numerous fraternal organization. They were all there going through the motions like good doobies, but respect the last thing on their minds.
My ex had a friend who went to the funerals of everyone she knew, or knew a friend, neighbor, cow orker of. Social networking when there wasn't facebook to tell people what a good person you are.
Paying respect to the living by reminding them you came to see them because somebody close to them died? Gee, what a pal.
No, funerals/wakes are to say goodbye to the dead. If you were both in a bar and you wouldn't say goodbye when they left, you've no business at their final goodbye, you're just emotionally or socially masturbating.
Oh, should I add IMHO? No, my name's on it, every post is opinion, and not at all humble.
