[BrianR]

> > 'Old Man'
> >
> > I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy
> some
> > new shoes. We decided
> > to grab a bite at the food court.
> >
> > I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next
> to
> > him.
> >
> > The teenager had spiked hair in all different
> > colors: green, red, orange,
> > and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager
> > would look and find him
> > staring every time.
> >
> > When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically
> > asked, "What's the matter,
> > old man, never done anything wild in your life?"
> >
> > Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so
> that
> > I would not choke on his
> > response, knowing he would have a good one. And in
> > classic style he did not
> > bat an eye in his response. "Got drunk once and
> had
> > sex with a peacock. I
> > was just wondering if you were my son ?




Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.
As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas.
The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched from across the street. One of the them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic."