[Urbane Guerrilla]

SOS can be... shoddily... made. Phooey on trying to pass off unseasoned plain hamburger as the one true Creamed Chipped Beef. It needs the chipped beef, or this Turkish-style variant.

Or for heaven's sake, do something to pep up the ground beast. Try minced garlic and ground red pepper.

Middle-Eastern markets can get you pastirma, as can some middle-eastern restaurants. You may have to get creative to land a supply.

Armour Brand chipped beef in the little jars gets its zip from nitrite curing. Some pastirma does likewise, but in the main it gets its zing from a rub of powdered red pepper and garlic. Nitrite is optional. Pastirma can be found sliced, in half-pound and 1-pound family size packets in the freezer case, and costs like pretty good cheese, about eight dollars the pound. You won't need more than the half-pounder one.

SOS with Pastirma

3 to 4 oz Pastirma slices, snipped or sliced 1/4" across -- about an eighth of a kilo
2 TBSP (30ml) Butter
2 TBSP (30ml) Flour, all purpose or w/w
1 1/3 (220ml)cups Milk
1/2 tsp (~10ml) Worcestershire Sauce
Buttered Toast, cut in points if you're feeling Martha Stewartish or James Bearded

Lightly sauté Pastirma bits in the Butter, about 3 minutes. Stir in the Flour, making a roux, then add the Milk all at once. Cook and stir until thickened and bubbly, then cook and stir 1-2 mins more. Add Worcestershire Sauce with a dash Pepper if desired. Spoon mixture over buttered toast points.

Option: fry 1 large clove crushed Garlic in the butter with the Pastirma, remove and discard Garlic. Makes your white sauce Béchamel-ish.

Serves 3-4, unless you really like Creamed Chipped Beast on etcetera and hog it all yourself.