[Aliantha]

I'm with the others here who have said your children sound like they're being very selfish. FFS, they're all grown ups now. Surely they know what the real world is like by now. Not everything happens because of some set of rules, and everyone goes through stuff which influences who they are.

If they really feel they're so fucked up, tell them to go see a counsellor and deal with that shit.

You have enough of your own shit to deal with. You gave them the best of yourself for their first 20 years or so. It's up to them to make the most of what they've got. I say, tell them to get over their 'first world problems' and wake up and smell the roses. Their lives don't seem too fucking bad to me.

eta: in your position, I would not even acknowledge their complaining. Honestly. I would actually be pretty pissed off (and believe me, my kids have made a number of comments in the past, so I speak from experience). Maybe you need to be a bit more of a hard arse with them. When your 'children' are adults (mine are almost there), they need to make the cognitive leap from blaming their parents (who traditionally hold the power) to acknowledging their own responsibility (because now they are the ones with the power) for their issues. Some people never do, so spend their whole life blaming their failures on their parents or their terrible up bringing. Others do. It's called growing up.