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I have some questions.
Why? Are you the police? Do we need to contact our Lawyer?
1. Ketchup or Mustard on your hot dog?
Neither. We prefer a nice Monkey Gland Sauce
2. Which foot do you lift first going up steps?
Depends if there is an even or odd number of steps and if they face North – South or East – West.
3. Who is the craziest person you know?
It’s a toss up between Kim Jong-Un and Donald Trump. Now there’s a worry.
4. How often do you wash that coffee pot?
Around the same time we polish the vacuum cleaner.
5. how many teaspoons in a tablespoon?
Depends, are they metric spoons or imperial spoons? There’s a huge difference. We have had to savagely beat many of our servants for not knowing the difference.
6. Does it bother you that I didn't capitalize that last one?
We often wonder what people do with all the time they save by not using capitals.
6. How about the indent there?
Why are there several number sixes?
6. Normally, do you start introductions by assuring people that you're perfectly sane and normally do you start introductions by assuming people are perfectly sane and normally do you even?
Normally we don’t introduce ourselves. People usually introduce themselves to us. We smile if we find them pleasing or we grunt if we want them to leave.
7. Did I stutter?
Yes, but we tried not to notice. That’s the sort of people we are.
8. Which of these questions will tell us most about you?
Number 16
9. What color is the number 4?
When you multiply two numbers together, the colour of the resulting product is determined by the colours of the two numbers as in the hermetic guide of number colours. I thought everyone knew that!
13.
14. Thirteen intentionally left blank?
But we can see a question there. The answer is – yes, it’s ok to masturbate on the cat if there is nobody watching
15. Or was it?
#insert the “Twilight Zone” theme music here....
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