[orthodoc]

I've gone public all week with my super-short hair - on this trip to the midwest, this symposium where no one knows me and I can be myself and shine. And I hate my short hair, i HATE it. It looks like - not me. I feel old, I feel like some person I don't recognize.

I had short hair until late high school when I defied my mother and grew it. After being utterly ignored by the opposite sex, suddenly at the beginning of college I became worthy of interest. That continued as long as I had long, or longish, hair.

So I understand the source of the insecurity, and it's not necessarily valid. But the fact remains, I hate having short hair in spite of its practical advantages. Right now I just want to put that wig back on until my hair is as long as it used to be. Not really feasible, but it's upsetting me. One of those non-scientific non-quantifiable not-logical stupid things that affect probably all of us, not just those of us with two X chromosomes.