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I'm on 40mg Citalopram (Celexa?)
It's used as much for anxiety as depression, and I think this might be where it helps me.
It's made a HUGE difference to my life.
I no longer have a heightened fear of everything. I no longer automatically think about killing myself when something minor goes wrong. I have been able to deal with bills and creditors - I've even phoned my bank when I've been worried I'm about to go overdrawn, rather than bury my head in the sand.
I haven't thought that anyone hates me and is laughing about me behind my back for a couple of years now.
I no longer lie awake at night wanting to die and hating myself so intently that I am rigid with disgust.
I have tried to get CBT, but there is nowhere locally that has it on the NHS and I can't afford to pay.
I'm fixing the diet and exercise thing.
But if I'm on Citalopram for ever I don't care.
I'm still me - I still have ups and downs. I can feel joy and excitement and painful nostalgia - it's certainly not all flat and grey. But there is less desperation, hopelessness, distress.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac
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