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Good point re: meds. I was on an antidepressant for a short time and even though my doctor insisted that it could not affect my sex drive, it did. Not only that, but it decreased sensitivity to the point where climax was not possible. I stopped taking the meds (and going to that doctor), and it all went back to normal.
Things get better with age. I'm 31 now and am starting to notice a huge increase in drive and pleasure.
The lover makes all the difference in the world, though it's not always for lack of trying that some are not as successful.
I cannot orgasm during cunnilingus. I used to, before I gave birth. But since then, lo those 8 + years ago, I think I've come maybe twice that way. I don't think I have any hang-ups that would be preventing an orgasm. It's a mystery.
My emotional state greatly affects my ability to orgasm. Can't help it, I'm a chick, gotta have that emotional connection... unless it's the rare occasion it's PURE lust.
I don't think anyone could not know if they have an orgasm. You pretty much know. Maybe she's just one of those women who can't orgasm. It happens. Not that I'm suggesting you give up.
I've heard of sex counselors helping people.
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