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Putting off til tomorrow is a fine way of dealing with emotional stress imo. You think about it, it upsets you...kick it into the long grass and deal with it when you feel stronger.
16 months isn't really that long a stretch of time Tiki. It took me a good while longer than that before I could think about the past with J and not feel sadness, regret, longing and disconnection. Takes time. Sometimes it takes longer. There's no formula. There are friendships I still hark back to now and then and am assailed by a wave of sadness at the fact I don't know what happened to that person and probably never will.
When sadness like that creeps up, the present can be a good anchor.
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