[Elspode]

Leslie and I just got home from a wonderful NYE party at the home of some of my oldest friends. We drank copiously, sang karaoke, and talked lots of shit. Even in our drunkest moments, my very old and bestest friend (and current bandmate) Rich and I sat down and did a half hour of covers, he on acoustic guitar and me on bass and backing vocals. We were actually *good*, even as we pulled it out of our asses. I don't know why I was surprised, since we've been doing this exact same thing for almost forty years now.

Bruce...yes...I *am* a really nice guy. I probably need to see a psychiatrist to see if this can't be beaten or drugged out of me...it is a character flaw, especially when I should probably be confrontational, angry and bitter.

No, that's not going to happen is it? It is painful to me to be anything other than who and what I am...and who and what I am is essentially a respectful, loving, peaceful old damn hippie. I'm sure that I could have won some sort of friend war, or face saving exercise between Selene and myself, but...why?

I'd rather just be happy, and playing fuck fuck with my ex won't make me that way, no matter how good I might be at it.

I'd rather be with y'all, with the woman who has actually loved me and sacrificed for me these past couple of years. I'd rather reconnect with my oldest friends, the people who have always been there for me even while my ex was telling me she just wasn't comfortable around them, so we didn't go do things with them.

I'd rather be me. Thanks for being a part of me, y'all. Nappy Ho Year.