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The program is what it is. People relapse all the time - with or without their sponsor. It's what alcoholics do - go get drunk.
IMO for AA to work, you have to immerse yourself in it totally. You go to a meeting everyday (sometimes more) if possible. You get yourself a sponsor with at least a few years of sobriety - one that you see walking the walk, not just talking the talk. You start and end each day with meditation and prayer. You work the steps with your sponsor, and I mean WORK them. You do a lot of writing and soul searching. You give back to the program by chairing meetings, agreeing to be coffee maker and opening up the meeting room, and much more. You go to the "meeting before the meeting" and the "meeting after the meeting" which means you come early to talk to people and you go out for coffee with everyone afterwards.
Most of your friends are in AA because "normies" just don't get what it's like to struggle with alcoholism nor what it means to "work the program." Stopping smoking is not like quitting drinking, although my hat is off to anyone who can quit smoking cold turkey. I have done both and there is simply no comparison.
It's wonderful if you have a family and are motivated by your love of them, but that's not the same as having a higher power. No matter how wonderful they may be, they are not god. And what do people who don't have families do?
And finally Joe is absolutely right. The step Classic is thinking of is the 9th step: "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others." An alcoholic who makes a practice of bestowing upon others cruel and unnecessary information is NOT in recovery, rather they are acting out of their alcoholic sickness.
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