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The workplace was a handful of people. A new hire found himself unable to make it to work in time in the morning. You know people who are simply late and unaccustomed to making a schedule. This was this young gent's first real job. Eventually he would be docked a day's pay for being late. My boss hated him for it. Meanwhile my boss would come in late, go out at lunch to work out and come back late, take entire days off for any personal needs, and leave early on a routine basis. I thought if timeliness was important, showing a good example would be the way to do that. But the rules were, he was the boss and got to set his own hours.
The office would only hire salespeople they thought/knew were losers. Why: it was important to think of them as losers, so boss would feel better about himself. He would complain bitterly about the people that he had decided to hire, and that they were such idiots they could not be developed. We'd be in his office, and a salesguy would come in and ask about something and not immediately understand; once they left he would say to me "You see what I have to deal with?"
He asked me why the Brit engineers were not interested in helping him, because I understand engineers. This led to an unrealistic escalation where he ended the conversation with "They can just get new jobs" if they don't like working with people like him. I didn't explain that even thinking the engineers should be fired is actually why they don't want to work with him. I didn't explain that I was his engineer, and that in casually dismissing people's engineering careers, he was casually dismissing mine.
Everyone else was always the reason he was not successful. In his mind, his own moves were fine and the actions of others were keeping him down. In every business there are issues and problems you have to deal with. In this one, these issues were taken personally.
He had a special hatred for gay people and would routinely say horrible things. When the news reported a center city attack of 14 douchebag high school students on two gay men, leaving them bloodied and hospitalized, he said the gay guys brought it upon themselves. I would say there is a 1/3 chance that he is gay and that this is part of the root of all of this.
I figured all this out very quickly and, for my own purposes, dealt with him extremely carefully, as if each statement was a mine in a minefield. When he asked why he couldn't reach certain people, I told him he was "intimidating" -- knowing this was not the real underlying cause, but that we couldn't discuss the real underlying cause. I figured he would take it as a compliment, and he did. Whenever he would bitch about things I would calmly take his side and agree with his ranting. This was a successful way to maintain.
When I announced I was leaving, he gave me wide berth the last two weeks. I suspect he took it as an insult, and one more way his people were making life hard for him.
But here's the thing!
I also sensed that he was this way because he was fundamentally broken. Deep in his heart, he is a ball of weird insecurities. All this harsh douchebaggery is really due to how he feels about himself. Every comment a weird reflection of crushing internal damage. Knowing this made it possible to work with him. I'd leave his office and think, how sad it is; how troubled he must be. This absolute jerk of a human being is that way because of human failings we all have. And I would concentrate on the good aspects of his personality and hope that his sociopathic charm would make us successful to buyers.
Had he known I felt that way, I think he would have considered me enemy number one. But it was the main thing that allowed me to work with him for so long.
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