^this. I don't know what country you are in so who would be the person you see next, but tell them. Your family doctor, your OBGYN, your visiting nurse..... tell them. Don't hold back for fear of judgment, they will totally get it an they will help you. You are far from the only new mom to feel this way and they can help you.
No it's not always going to suck. "Everyone" has different babies and different experiences. Who in their right mind would enjoy cleaning up the goop that comes out of a newborn behind? And travels up the back of their diaper and then down the long sleeve of their clean cute little sleepsuit you just got poppered up, onto the nice clean bedlinen you just changed. And boys pee in your eye too. And smiles? It was a lot longer than 5 weeks before I could be sure it was a smile and not just an opening ready for projectile vomit....
Hang in there, it will get better, and if you can bring yourself to tell the medical professionals around you, they will help you make that sooner rather than later.
Stick around and bitch here when you need to. We won't judge and don't know who you are anyway. We know how it is. We get it. Mine are 20, 18 and 16 now.
