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I think its the emotional bond that, once broken, causes the deepest pain. The trust that we have with another person is what sets us apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. That said, its cheating when that trust is broken. Whether it be online, in person or any other form. It doesn't matter to me whether the "act" took place, the sin is in the mind. We all have fantasies, but once they turn into the hope or want of a real situation - its cheating.
As for wooing someone away from another person to start a relationship with you, I agree with "disenchanted". Its just a matter of time before the same happens to you.
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