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Old 09-17-2015, 01:31 PM   #44
it
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 772
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
No, you disagree with what you imagine other people are attempting to do here. There's no way you can know the intent of others, unless they tell you. Even if their action fits what you consider the pattern for such and such behavior, that's not intent.

The intent of most people here, most of the time, is have a little fun, kill a little time and occasionally to avoid things of the lawn mowing/cat washing/diaper changing sort.

I am not talking about what they are doing with the cellar in general. I meant specifically with the "it's not your fault" thing within this thread.

From what I've seen, people come here to joke around but also to talk about various shit in their lives from family members with cancer to troubles at the shop. So while it's true that people come here for a little fun and to kill a little time where everybody knows your other name *insert cheers theme song spoof*, there is also a very strong aspects of people here becoming each other's support networks. Which in itself is actually pretty cool - it takes quite a bit for a community to evolve into that IME.
Trust me when I say that's an achievement - I've seen other places where even someone talking about their mother's cancer would be used as a weapon against them in future arguments. There is some of that kind of thing here, but not much.

It's just a matter that sometimes the most obvious ways to provide support can have unfortunate implications.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DanaC View Post
It's so easy to forgive our 6 year old self their ignorance. We seem to struggle to be so kind to our teenage and young adult selves. But they are the ones that need the most understanding and forgiveness.
...So if someone raped you or killed your loved ones or... Just insert some of the worst things you've experienced caused by another human being... and then years later you'd get to talk to them or confront them and bring it up... And they tell you, "well that's ok, I forgave myself"...

I don't know about you but I am not sure my ability to even imagine douchiness can come up with a higher level of it. This seems entirely contingent on the ability to avoid anyone you've ever hurt and create a bubble with which to continue your own life in which you can imagine on a daily basis that they don't exist.

Mind you, I don't think self flagellation is useful either, metaphorical or otherwise, in fact it can be just as much of a self-deception tool. I've known people who believe so strongly that through emotional self-flagellation they can resolve the problem because in their minds how bad they feel for doing something to someone else has to be worst then how bad it felt for the other to have it done to them, thus somehow "balancing it out". That is also IMO utter horseshit, and misses the point for the very same reason - it's not up to you.
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