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Old 05-03-2004, 10:47 AM   #219
wolf
lobber of scimitars
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,773
Greg made a living as a "session musician." He wasn't in a band; he played his clarinet for background music in commercials and such. He was very good.

One day he took a job playing for the soundtrack of a movie. When he was finished, and they were writing his check, he asked the girl what movie his music would be in.

She gave him a funny look. "They didn't tell you?"

"No," said Greg.

"Well ... it's a porno movie. It'll be released next month."

Greg had never played for a movie soundtrack before, and was very disappointed. But he wanted to hear his music anyway, so one day he found himself buying a ticket at a dirty little theater in the gay section of town.

Greg had never been inside a porno theater before. It smelled of urine. Soon after he sat down, a nice-looking elderly couple came in and sat down next to him. Greg was very surprised, and absolutely mortified. He had never seen them before, but they were the kind of people who went to his church every Sunday: gray-haired, clean-cut, conservative, polite, nicely dressed.

The movie finally started. It turned out to be the very worst kind of pornography: threesomes, foursomes, oral sex, anal sex, lesbians, masochism, sadism. Just when Greg thought it couldn't get any worse, a dog got into the act, mingling freely with the humans, performing sex acts with them.

Greg couldn't stand it anymore. He decided to leave. He leaned over to the little old lady and said, "Ma'am, I'm going to leave now. I've never been to this kind of theater before, and I only came here for the music."

She smiled sweetly and said, "Oh, I understand. We just came here to see our dog."
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