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You go to your boss and tell him you can't work on sunday because you have to remember the sabbath day and keep it holy. Because you know he checks up on you, you head off to church for the first time in years, going to the nearest church in your neighborhood. They are a small, but welcoming sect of Snake Handlers. They insist that you handle the snakes as on your first visit you are surely especially blessed by God. God knows what the snake handler pastor does not, that you are just there to avoid working on a Sunday and you are bitten by a record 6 snakes. Just before you lose all sensation in your body and void your bowels, you realize that your workload for today would have involved addressing and mailing an envelope full of completed reports to the corporate office.
I wish all of my debt was paid off.
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