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Firstly if you work until 9.30pm selling the likes of Rock a truck you are allowed to go home ever now and again for a nooner.
As to the 4-year old.
Sunday School looks like a good idea, either that or Vaseline on the doorknob.
Children. Nature’s punishment for having sex?
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"Happiness is like sex. In order to get any good out of it, you have to give it to someone else." 
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