You gave him a my-way-or-leave-the-house ultimatum over a necklace when he was 17.
When he chose to leave you took it as stupidly sneaky for him to provide his own way back in. (Not "a boy in trouble is still asking, in his own way, for my support")
You irrationally hated his girlfriend, disrespected her belief systems, and called her defiling names because of his changes in behavior.
You called him a pussy for not being directly confrontational with you. You called him worse when he *was* confrontational. And now you wonder why he's passive-aggressive?? That's a classic response to "You're gonna get it if you do -- and you're gonna get it worse if you don't." His only way to control the situation is to do withdraw.
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