The
bad news is I have lived here in Seattle for years and no one's told me about
HazardFactory's Power Tool Drag Races. I told you guys I'm way more careful than that barbarian Conan. I can totally handle this. Just look at these categories:
Quote:
Powertool Drag Race Award Categories.
HOLD MY BEER AND WATCH THIS: Our celebrated and highly competitive catagory of over-inspired and woe-fully underplannned racetools.
JESUS BUILT MY HOTROD: Im gonna dang a lang lang my lang a long ling long. Faster than logic!
GOING THE DISTANCE: Still driving and striving http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zStIm0gNnUw
ZOMG!: Stupid is faster than thinking.
TITANIC: The Epic Fail award. Go big or go Home (and put some ice on that).
MISS GEORGETOWN: Style, poise, Charisma, copious Bribes, my car keys, She’s got it all!
A GESTURE OF GOODWILL: AKA the Beltway award. AKA the Halliburton, AWARDED FOR BEST BRIBES.
SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT: Best halftime show, best presentation, or best team, bringing spunk to the masses.
THE HUNGER GAINS: Survivor of the deathrace.
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The
other bad news is I've missed this year's
race. June 12th, I'm sure I was available that day. I could have buzzed right over after the Lutefisk Orgy.
The
good news is I now have TEN MONTHS TO PREPARE MY RACER!!! BOO-YAH!!
The
other good news is
Flaming Tetherball!
Quote:
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For those of you who reflexively shout “SAFETY THIRD” congratulations; for the rest, bear in mind that most sports have started as this kind of dumb thing people do, think of say, polo, jousting, golf, boxing, curling, bowling, and baseball, which at some point develops a few basic tenets which help keep the stack of bodies from obstructing the view and or preventing the athletes from developing any real skill as thier injury rate is too high.
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I can't fucking wait!