Yesterday I went to WallyWorld for some last minute stuff. As I'm getting out of GrandCherokee1, a guy and his wife (?) are getting out of their car 2 empty parking spaces away.
The guy takes a couple steps in my direction and says:
"Excuse me, sir?" (btw, do ya get used to that 'sir' shit as ya get older? It still fucks with me.)
I said "Can I help ya?", expecting him to ask for money, or some Xmassy, scammy-type thing.
He says "Boy, I sure hope so. I'll give you a $100 right now if you'll whup my ass so I don't have to go in here (pointing to WallyWorld).
I looked at him for a minute and said "Deal. But, you'll have to wait for me to come back out, I'm sure I'll be ready to fight by the time I get outta there." And then I looked the guy up and down right quick, he's 6 feet tall, 250 lbs if he weighs an ounce, and then I said "I might have to section off
a piece of ya to whup on, you a pretty good sized old boy."
He laughed. I laughed. He's funny, I'm funny, we're all pretty fuckin' funny.
Dude's wife came off with the line of the year as far as I'm concerned. She said, without even glancing at the guy:
"If you wanted your ass whupped, you shoulda said something before we left the house."
