Okay, stepping up then.
https://cellar.boardhost.com/ is now live. I'm still working on getting the monkey header image in place, but the forums and color scheme and whatnot are reasonably well-replicated. Can't test the registration system because I'm already registered, so someone let me know if that's working. (And of course everyone register with your current username, please...) Will work on adding moderators and all those details soon.