[monster]

So Thursday didn't happen -morning practice was cancelled because of the game that night. So yesterday was the second attempt. I took the Fit again. I made it, but I was shitting bricks the whole time, literally shaking with fear again. but not quite as much. i wasn't crying when i got home, but I didn't exactly feel awesome.

Last night, I had to drive on the freeway in the dark in semi rush-hour to get Hebe from Lifeguard glass 15 miles away. HATED IT I was still scared even though I was in the tank (Dodge Grand Caravan) and i'd just driven that route a few hours earlier in the rush hour and it was fine. But it was better.

So this morning (morning practice again, i took the tank. Much better. I think the problem is that when I drive stick, i rely on my left hand to steer, especially in heavy traffic when changing gear is more frequent. My left hand is currently unreliable -or at least I feel it is, especially when I am concentrating my attention elsewhere. And right now, I feel the need to pay extra attention to my surroundings, especially in the dark, while i get used to my new vision. So why make it so hard? It will get better with time. just because I'm driving the tank in the mornings now doesn't mean I'm doomed to never driving the Fit again.

Plus people like to fuck with little cars -i have enough to be dealing with right now without inviting fuckery. they say you should do something that scares you every day. I'm pretty sure they don't mean the same thing every day. unless they get their income from the loony bin industry