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I really don't think I have postpartum depression--I have been depressed before, and this doesn't feel like that.
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I'm not a parent,so haven't been through it myself- but friends who have said the depression was different to what they'd experienced before.
Do you have a family doctor you trust? - if so go talk to them. They may be able to help.
Right now everything's fraught - and the stakes are so high - everybody always says how much you'll love the little bundle- like it's a revelation - except not every mum has that experience. Sometimes it takes time for that love to grow and sometimes that feeling is so obscured by all the shit that surrounds it that it's hard to identify.
Sometimes, it's just a matter of keepin on until it builds.
1 in 5 women struggle to bond with their babies - it is not unnatural or unusual. Sometimes, it requires a little outside help:
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But for some new mums, including many of the 15% of women estimated to suffer with postnatal depression, feeling unable to bond with your baby – sometimes for many months after the birth – is a source of deep shame and sadness. Child psychologist Dr Angharad Rudkin says,
"It's a subject that triggers tremendous guilt. Bonding with your baby can take time – far more time than you think – and there are many reasons it might not happen immediately. The birth may have been long and traumatic. The mother may be suffering from depression or anxiety, which can affect her ability to bond. Don't panic if you don't feel overwhelmed with love at first. But at the same time, be aware that if the situation continues, you need to seek help and there's no shame in doing so. Mums need to take the pressure of themselves to be perfect. You just need to be doing OK."
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This is a really interesting, and I think useful, article on the subject.
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/parenting...-with-my-baby/