[orthodoc]

Thanks for your thoughts and good advice. I was able to see my lawyer yesterday and his take was: it's a good settlement - far better than the last offer stbx made, and essentially fair to me. It doesn't give me anything I'm not actually entitled to and able to get with the help of a good lawyer, but it doesn't shaft me either.

He said, 'Could you get MORE? Yes. Should you go after it? Only you can answer that.'

My take was, I'm not looking for the last dollar and I'm not looking to destroy stbx's reputation here such that he has to leave this town and never be spoken to again by anyone who knows him. I'm not looking to spend the next three years of my life fighting unless it's necessary. I've been a hostage to this relationship for many years; I'd like to start my training program and my new life now - not fill my entire residency with hearings and rancorous back-and-forth and possibly creating enough rage in stbx that I'd end up in physical danger. Or have him hurt himself and live out that fallout with my kids and in this small community. My big question to the lawyer: is there something hidden or not included here that will hurt me? He says no.

I know there aren't hidden assets; I've done the finances long enough and seen the actual financial statements, met with the accountant, etc. He's a partner in a business that's a service corp, no assets, they drain the accounts every month. There's no business value. I have the keys to all the safety deposit boxes, but most importantly, I know all his sources of income and see it all in our accounts.

I will have this agreement put in proper legal terms and entered into the record as a court order so that it's contempt of court if he reneges. Stbx has agreed to that (he wants it now, because then he can write off the alimony he's proposed to pay while I'm in training).

I have no illusions about why stbx is doing this; it's for his benefit, as always. His top priority right now is keeping me somewhat civil, trying to make it possible to stay in touch. After I left last week, he put this out there to try to keep the lines of communication open. I'm not deluding myself that he's suddenly become a nice guy. But walking away without three years of fighting, being free in early July, is worth a lot. So I'm still mulling it over, but if it can work, I'll take this, I think. If he reneges or plays games before the next two weeks are done, I'll just take the other road with my lawyer and so be it. But long-term anger and fighting are draining. I'd rather conserve my energy and get on with my life.