[Sundae]

I got sausages out to defrost for mini toad-in-the-hole today (sausages in batter pudding). There were only four in the freezer, and I put them in a bowl in the microwave (off) because it's a safe place at room temperature.

Dad moaned to Mum - he will never confront me directly - that we would only get one sausage each. Turns out when Mum makes toad-in-the-hole, she spoils Dad and gives him three sausages. Well tough. There were no more in there anyway, and we decided Dad could have two portions and we'd have one each, just heavy on the accompanying veg.

All a mild irritant, and very silly. If he just ate what he was given he'd feel full up anyway - this is cooked differently than the ones Mum does anyway. In his 70th year, he's pretty much stuck in his ways.

Anyway. Mum thought the sausies weren't defrosting quickly enough, so she took them out of the microwave and put them on top of the hob. Cooker wasn't on, just for some reason she thought there would be a temperature difference in the open air. Ridiculous, as when I checked them at 14.00 I deemed them defrosted, and anyway, any temperature difference would be negible, if it existed at all.

Cries and shouts from downstairs approx 5 minutes ago.
Diz got at the sausages.
He had one on the floor and had shredded it all over the kitchen.
Not only that, but Dad's first step into the porky madness saw him sliding on a piece and skidding across the floor in true slapstick banana skin stylee.

Dad not impressed. Mum and I both apologetic for our parts in the tragedy. The 'rents have had two scavenger cats (like Diz) so she should have known better. But he's my cat so I feel responsible.

Dad only gets one portion, and Mum and I still smirking now. The idea of Dad gliding over the kitchen floor on the extra sausage he was sulking about, like an older Tom Cruise in Risky Business is really quite amusing. If he'd slipped and hurt himself it wouldn't be funny. But he didn't, so we can smirk to our hearts' content.