[Torrere]

Thanks to UT's blog link for this one.

The Essex Girl is something of the trans-Atlantic equivalent to the quintessential blonde, a slag (invariably called "Sharon") whose IQ is in inverse proportion to her promiscuity. Most of the jokes are unprintable.

An Essex girl went down to the social services to get her family allowance. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"
"Ten," she replied.
"What are their names?" he asked.
"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, and Kevin," she answered.
"They're all named Kevin?" he asked. "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?"
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Kevin' and they all come running in."
"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"
"I just say, 'Kevin, come eat your dinner'," she answered.
"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked.
"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their surname."

Q. Why are Essex girls only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
A. It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.

Q: Why do Essex girls wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

more.