Thread: Drunks
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Old 02-27-2012, 05:23 PM   #60
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
Yebbut, Ali & Salem, you did not commit to turn your life over to them (as your higher power) and accept that they could effect changes in your life that you couldn't yourself.

As both of you say, the bottom line was what came from within.
The Twelve Step programme is vehemently about what comes from without.

So to answer Infi, no of course no-one keeps track of what you are claiming as a higher power. Although if you have a sponsor (highly recommended) you will have frank and open discussions about all twelve steps and will be expected to name your higher power.

Personal power can of course be the love of your family, but it is a nebulous concept compared to the general idea that you have surrendered your life to an infinite power. If a member of your family blows up at you for no fault of yours, the hurt and rejection can impact your sobriety. On the other hand if you break the heel off your shoe, your umbrella turns inside out and there is a Tube strike, it doesn't mean God is judging you. You might feel it warrents a drink, but with willpower you will get through.

Yeah, that's a bit glib.
But that's what I heard when I went to meetings.
I cannot surrender to my family. I know them as flawed human beings also.
Sundae, I turned my life over to my kids the moment they were born.

I'd been abusing them by smoking.

I gave up because I had my eyes opened to the horror of losing a parent to cancer and realised just how bad my abuse could be if I didn't stop.

I think in just about every addicts life there's a catalyst. A defining moment when they realise their current behaviour can't go on, so they seek help in changing, or simply make the decision to change. Some clearly need more help than others, but it comes down to the same thing in my opinion.

I doubt I would be a non smoker today if I didn't have kids. I'd probably drink a lot more if I didn't have kids, and I'd probably still do drugs in one form or another if I didn't have kids.

My kids are my higher power. They keep me on the straight and narrow because I know that ultimately I'm the one person they really really need in their lives, and I can't afford to risk them losing that before it's time for the sake of my own fun and games.

My kids made me a better person. Without them, none of you would want to know me. I can promise you that.
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