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Old 01-23-2010, 10:11 AM   #1
squirell nutkin
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Holy, Creeping Jesus, the smell!

I started in on cleaning the couch and chair, which over night had quieted to a dull olfactory roar. I did a little test on the side of the chair with some Simple Green straight form the bottle. Pretty good, smelled good, took off some of the leather's dye. Less good.

Well, when in doubt, follow the instructions. So, I get a small amount of gentle soap on a wet rag and make a little lather and wipe down the back of the chair.

Rag looks pretty gray, go to rinse it out and before I am halfway across the kitchen the horrifying smell of stinky, wet, dog with god knows what sort of fecal undertones and anal gland high notes bursts into the air. I could actually see honest, god fearing normal kitchen aroma-molecules being jack-booted by the emanations from this couch.

I will admit now that when it comes to just about any other unpleasant stimulus, bad smells cut me off at the knees.

The several hours will be tough.

Once more unto the stinky breech...
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:13 AM   #2
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Is it really worth the effort? Ugh, you poor thing.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:16 AM   #3
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I am asking myself that now.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:53 AM   #4
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Hmm I hope Uncle Homer didn't die on that couch and thats why they were selling it
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Old 01-24-2010, 08:13 PM   #5
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Quote:
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Hmm I hope Uncle Homer didn't die on that couch and thats why they were selling it
I remember an episode from a sitcom where that happened.
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Old 01-23-2010, 10:58 AM   #6
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i must have skipped a chapter somehow
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:17 PM   #7
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I intro-ed this over in Prisoner of love and, in my grandiosity, failed to insert a link.

I added Lestoil, (very piney) Ammonia, (fight fire with fire) and some simple green. Now it smells rather fragrant when wet.

I also noted, from my post-Xmas tree needle vacuuming discovery, that fragrant things in the vacuum cleaner make the air smell nice and not so doogy. I pulverized some very nice incense and vacuumed it up in a new bag.

Now all I need to do is light an oil lamp, put on the Doors first album, smoke a bowl, and then I'd be right back where I came from wishful sinful wicked...

Whoa, sorry drifting there. I'm back.

Did the Ottoman, and the arm chair. After lunch I'll tackle the couch.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:55 PM   #8
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You may be drying the leather out with that concoction. I highly recommend Lexol Leather Conditioner. Starting with the Lexol cleaner would be good too.
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Old 01-23-2010, 12:59 PM   #9
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I was wondering if that'd be a better route.
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Old 01-23-2010, 01:36 PM   #10
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Dudes, please. I've got a boatload of lexol in the house. You cannot put lexol on this shit, you'd just be further cementing the death-funk into the pores of the leather. Leather can take a lot of abuse, that's why they use leather in the first place.

I've washed it off, dried it, it's still very supple. It had been waxed at some point. It smells better, but if you put your snout right up next to it, you can still smell. Now I've got the chair locked in the office and I'm burning about 50 sticks of VivaPine Sandalwood incense in there with it. I'm hoping the smoke will adhere to the leather a bit.

I forgot to febreeze it first.
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Old 01-23-2010, 11:03 PM   #11
xoxoxoBruce
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Dudes, please. I've got a boatload of lexol in the house. You cannot put lexol on this shit, you'd just be further cementing the death-funk into the pores of the leather. Leather can take a lot of abuse, that's why they use leather in the first place.
No, no, do the Lexol after you get it clean. There's no way you're going to get the smell out without removing some, if not most, of the emollients that keep leather from cracking.
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Old 01-23-2010, 01:45 PM   #12
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I feel for you. My house smells like cat piss.
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Old 01-23-2010, 01:55 PM   #13
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Dennis and Spike's breeder has 5 adult cats, 4 queens and 1 male. They live in an addition she had put on the house just for them.
Holy balls her house stunk so friggin bad. I remember Dennis needing 2 scrub downs just to get the smell off him... and Spike was almost as stinky when we picked him up. I wanted to just run in, grab him, and run out - but was forced to take a tour of the cat room and meet all the cats because she's so proud of them. So she's showing me the male and telling me how exceptional he is, that he's nice to all the moms and kittens and loves to snuggle and stuff, which was obvious becuase he had curled up on Spencer and was purring like crazy.... So then she says "And he doesn't spray!" "It doesn't smell like urine at all in here".
Mind over matter apparently. We all went home and showered.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:07 PM   #14
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This reminds me of when I go to the sale barn to buy hay and I assume the horse people are thinking that guy stinks he must have cows. The cow guys thinks that guy stinks he must have sheep. The sheep guy thinks whew that guy must have hogs and the hog guy must think the horse guy stinks.
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Old 01-23-2010, 03:19 PM   #15
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There are a number of cleaning products that you can buy at the pet store that contain an enzyme to break down poo and pee smells. We've had very good luck with these. They don't cover up the smell, but break them down into simpler molecules that don't smell.
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