What's kind of irking you, but might work out OK in the end?

[infinite monkey]

I had to leave early because I had a counseling session to do. I don't know what might happen. I can't see change happening that is drastic enough to make things as they should be. She has requested specific examples of the bullying, and that is on my cow orkers because the biggest bully isn't my direct supervisor.

But I hope, with everything that this place purports to be, that decency and common sense will effect change.

[limey]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

Well, I think my cow orkers were heard but I felt dismissed, when I brought up the regulatory issue I'm concerned about.

I don't know what will happen, if anything, but I can't live like this. I know what I'm doing. I have diverse knowledge because of the different areas I've worked in over the years. Yet what I say doesn't seem to matter. It not only doesn't seem to matter, there seems to be an almost pointed look that says "like you know what you're talking about..."

I don't know at what point in my life I became invisible, or insignificant. I used to be a person people looked to: for conversation, for answers or discussions, for advice. No one looks to me for anything, and sometimes I'm not even sure I exist. When did this happen? When did I become so inconsequential. I can't imagine feeling any worse than this feeling that I have nothing to offer anymore, to anyone. I used to be somebody, not somebody great or important in the grand scheme, but I was somebody to someone, for some things, and I felt respected.

Now I just feel like a pile of shit.

Sometimes that is more about self-perception, you undervalue the effect that you've had on the situation. I hope it works out for you and you get more satisfaction from your work - whether there, or if you decide to move.

[monster]

infi, I missed all this, so sorry that is teh suxxors. But listen up. Insignificant people don't step up to be counted.

I suspect they are fully aware of you and know you know your shit, and that makes them realise their incompetancy, so they try to minimise that by not acknowledging your awesomeness.

[infinite monkey]

Thanks you guys. You've really made me feel better.

Life is funny and you never know what can happen...so I'm ready for anything. I'll keep doing the best I can and let the chips fall where they may.

At the very least they can't say they aren't aware of what's going on over here, and I think M was sincerely shocked at some of the behaviors we described.

monster: if life gives me lemons Imma make lemonade. With vodka. I'll be over around 7.

[plthijinx]

this week has been particularly stressful.

roommate had his lower back fused Wednesday which was a very very difficult procedure. i could go into detail but the procedure was pretty gruesome. it involved removing innards and screwing and bolting together rods and such.

i've got x-ray pics of his back after the procedure. very interesting. someone suggest where to put one or two of them and i will. i'm still not thinking very straight. he had me worried, especially yesterday morning because after the surgery was done on weds. they kept him under anesthesia due to some complications and didn't wake him up until mid morning yesterday.

it will work out in the end and i know the worst is over. but i'm still stressed.

eta: the one thing that iks me about all this is hey, aside from the cellarites i have on fb, i posted something about this wednesday. went ignored. completely. thanks y'all.

[classicman]

Don't worry plt. All will be well. And don't let the "I don't cares" around here bother you. Just keep on doin your thing and take of your roomie.
Peace yo.

[plthijinx]

i'm not so worried about it, it's just lately i've noticed that if you are not in the "click" you don't count and neither does your opinion.

[Clodfobble]

Aw, plt, that ain't true. Sometimes people read, and they think sympathetic thoughts in their head, but they don't know especially what to say, or they feel like they've already said something but in reality they forgot to type it. I do hope your roommate feels better soon.

[plthijinx]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Aw, plt, that ain't true. Sometimes people read, and they think sympathetic thoughts in their head, but they don't know especially what to say, or they feel like they've already said something but in reality they forgot to type it. I do hope your roommate feels better soon.

thanks. but the damage has already been done. i'm out. why the hell would i stay around a place that doesn't give a shit?

[infinite monkey]

plt--I'm sorry. I was glad to see you post and I should have said something encouraging. I've been caught up in my own crap. I like you and I do care.

As for fb, haven't even logged on in forever.

[BigV]

... don't know if this is a deposit or a withdrawal from my karma account....

I was in a ratty little thrift shop the other day and saw some tools. I bought a craftsman channel lock style pipe wrench for five bucks. woot. then, I came back later and bought a no name red hedge trimmer for 15 bucks. no model number, plain red body "little wonder". right. looked like something from the dollar store. but I plugged it in and it went whrrrrrrrrrr. so, worth a 15 dollar chance since the one I have at home is dead.

got home, googled up "little wonder". I'd never seen or heard of them and it's "little wonder" since they're commercial grade tools. the high list price I found for the like new one I got was $445. so, I got a discount of about $430.

whoa.

And it cuts like a gorram lightsaber.

[ZenGum]

You are NOT to use that thing while standing on ladder on a table on the back of an elephant, got that?

Nice find! I think you're karmically clear - even thrift shops have google.

[infinite monkey]

UPDATE:

My job still makes me miserable, and the atmosphere is no better, but they are bringing in consultants soon to examine processes, office 'culture' etc. Will things change? I don't know. I have some ideas for the office but this is not the sort of office 'culture' where there is any free exchange of ideas...something I realized right away 3 1/2 years ago.

I do feel better, not because I really believe there is any real light at the end of the tunnel but because I started Operation I Don't Care. I mean, whatever happens happens and making myself ill with worry gets me nowhere.

I'd like to see things change here...but I think more than anything I need to realize that perhaps I will not be one of those lifelong people in this profession. I think my experience and abilities almost make me feel obligated to keep doing this. I feel like I should keep at it because, in some cases, I actually help people.

I don't know if it's because of the problems here or if I am truly burnt out. I don't know what else I could possibly do.

The past few days the Dir has made it a point to question every thing I do...to keep shoving my nose in crap. She's mad now because I have a follow up doc appt today (another thing is they finally freaking figured out my hormones were seriously out of whack) and so she's sending meeting requests for the rest of the Mondays this month.

I'm not a fucking child. And Operation I Don't Care is taking another wobbly turn...all in the course of this post.

Bullies will get you, one way or another.

[Trilby]

Oh, Infini. I have been in similar situations. Of course I have no idea how your day to day life at that office goes but I can relate on some points. I've been in many a hostile work environment. I wishI could say that I learned to keep my head down and my mouth shut but I never could. I am not good at playing office politics and maybe you aren't either but don't lose heart. that's actually a sign of intelligence in some parts of the world! Of course, not in Corp. America though.

Don't you just wonder how the morons rise to middle management and then become so fucking evil? Imma ask the Universe that right after I ask it why the hell I had to be here in the first place. Oh, yeah: To "learn" and "grow" right?

hang in there child. maybe once the hormones get sorted you'll feel so much better.

[infinite monkey]

Thanks sweetie. I needed that.

I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut either, and office politics? Ha! Why do they even exist? Can't we just be honest and real? It's piddly diddly crap that I have no time, patience, or taste for. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a certain level of decorum and protocol, but prancing about doing the monkey dance is insulting and I won't do it.

I really do hope that the combination of hormone sorting and consultant action makes things better.

I do like this place...as a whole it's a wonderful place to work and I believe in its missions. It's this department, plain and simple, and I think the bigwigs know that things need to change.

I really wish something would come up in another dept though. Ideally I'd stay here, but work in a different capacity.