this is Mr. StaceyV

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by Riddil


O. MY. GOD. I don't think I've ever read a more self-centered comment in my entire life. Someone ELSE's life is garbage. Some poor CHILD is born into a tumultuous homestead. And all you can say is, "your maladjusted child might annoy me".

Nice.

Erm...no. Those are YOUR words/interpretation/assumption. What I DID say was this:

" I do worry about people bringing children into unhealthy households, because more than likely, that child will leave home and unleash themselves on society as dysfunctional adults (I quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of dealing with such folk).
"

Gyah, I HATE being misquoted...sigh.

Oh, and um..by the way, I didn't say anything that many others either have already said, or what they are thinking (and perhaps not brave enough to say).

Bruce said:

"Tumultuous homestead? Try dysfunctional group that wouldn't even qualify as a family.
Maladjusted child? More like hoards, armies of screwed up monsters that will, without a second thought, take your property, security, peace of mind, liberty and even your life."

Precisely. The last thing I want to do is to be looking down the business end of a gun at the local store, and behind the trigger is some kid who's Mom is a crack whore and Dad has disappeared (or if he's around, he's not much of nothing), and was probably abused for most of his/her life. I know people who have had this type of life (or something similar to it). My best friend from high school was abused as a child by an uncle, and the family was in denial about it for years. It affected her future relationships with men...she would end up with losers galore! (I mentioned one of them in another thread). As her friend, I had to put MY life on the line for her ass so that she wouldn't get killed by one of these fools. BUT, the thing is...she was with him for TWO YEARS! Plenty of time to leave that situation, and try to improve her own, but noooooo! And she's been that way for years and years. *shakes head*

Ep said:

"Fucked up households churn out fucked up people, who in turn churn out more fucked up people. What's wrong with LS saying that, and what is wrong with saying that fucked up people are annoying? They are, and all the goddamn sympathy in the world isn't gonna change that. It isn't self-centered to point out obvious fact, and state how one feels about it."

Once again, you rule!

No one can fix a damn thing about anyone until the person with the problem takes responsibility for it and works on it. No one ever got fixed by saying "I was an abused child, it isn't my fault." I'm sure that Rho has contributed to United Way somewhere along the line, or dropped a buck into a Salvation Army kettle to help fund drug-treatment and psych programs. What else do you expect her to do? Open her home and comfort the very people who would, as Bruce notes, fuck her over at the first possible opportunity.

{sistahgurl}Oh haaail naw!!!!{/sistahgurl}

But seriously, I have been fucked over by some of those folk. I have done various things to "help out" with their individual situations, only to find out that they just recycle old bad habits and get into more messes. After years of dealing with that, it was time to let those people go. I was putting too much effort into them, and not enough into "fixing" me.

So, people can call it whatever the hell they want. I no longer want to deal with the bullshit, and that's.my.choice AND my RIGHT.

[lumberjim]

bad relationships = bad families
bad families + kids = bad kids
bad kids = bad adults
bad adults + relationships = bad relationships

it's a circular equation

we need a good plague.

oh, yeah, we have one. but when the government designed it, they targeted drug users and faggots. they should have gone after assholes....but i guess they saw some personal risk in that enterprise.

[/paranoid]

[jaguar]

These days I'm not sure if i'm posting on cellar or a script forum for The bold and the beautiful

All we need now is dave to come along and marry stacyv.

I'm with lumberjim

bad relationships = bad families
bad families + kids = bad kids
bad kids = bad adults
bad adults + relationships = bad relationships

it's a circular equation

we need a good plague.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Undertoad's, All My Children.

[OnyxCougar]

NOnono. Dave marries April, and screws around on her with StaceyV, which Arsen finds out about via the computer files, thus perpetuating an IRONY.

That's the Cellar's Multiple Lives to Live.

[staceyv]

i wouldn't bang any man of april's.

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by jaguar
These days I'm not sure if i'm posting on cellar or a script forum for The bold and the beautiful

LMAO!! At least we don't have to try to figure out "who's the daddy" of anyone's baby!

creeps away to watch B&B...

[OnyxCougar]

Originally posted by staceyv
i wouldn't bang any man of april's.

Not that you wouldn't cheat.... just not with a man of April's. Interesting.

[staceyv]

i wouldn't cheat on him at all...i guess that came out wrong. step into my brain for a moment- this is what i was thinking of as i fell asleep last night:

"our history to me, our shared memories and past, used to be like a beautiful field of flowers to me. after i read those letters, it is like a herd of elephants trampled over that field and took giant elephant dumps all over it. now when i think about our history, all i see is elephant dung, and i can't see under it to see the flowers. THAT's how i feel."

[OnyxCougar]

If you truly love each other, all that elephant dung is gonna do is make the flowers grow bigger.

[staceyv]

that is the most charming, witty remark i have ever seen or heard of.

[Riddil]

*shrug*

Awighty. If no one else sees any problem with what LS said, then I'll cede the point, it's really not that important.

I wasn't trying to argue from some sort of "victim mentality" perspective. I'm literally the biggest detractor of that argument. Further, I completely agree that bad homes create bad children. What's more is that I find them pretty durn annoying too. But at the same time I think it's tasteless decry someone's problems in a public forum, and directly to their face.

My office-mate is an old-timer who's been a smoker for 20-30 years. He quit a year ago for health reasons, but he still coughs and hacks from time to time. And yeah, it can get annoying when I'm trying to talk on the phone and suddenly there's a coughing fit in the background.

I don't pity his health since he made the choice to smoke for all those years. But I do pity the tough situation that he's in. It's annoying for me to listen to that coughing, but at the same time I'm sure that it's much harder on him since he's the one living with those problems. It's my minor annoyance, it's his rough life. I just think that pointing out another person's plight which annoys you is... well... rude.

[staceyv]

UPDATE 3/2/04
any of you who have been following this whole story know about the agreement arsen and i made to help me rebuild my trust in him. one of the agreements was "arsen will bring stacey with him when he goes out or not go out" this was his idea, and i felt it was a little over the top, but since he was all for it, i was impressed like, "wow, he really will do anything to regain my trust!" so anyway, last night, he comes to my job and i buy him two beers. then he says he is going over "the russian's house" (where around 10 or 12 of his friends live and they're always drinking vodka...) i said "oh, did you forget about our agreement? you said you would take me with you, remember?" because, hey, even if it IS unreasonable, he DID make that agreement and until it is amended, he should stick to it! so, he says "oh, you're right. okay, i will go home and watch tv. call me when you're done working"...WELL, i called him 20 min later, and he never went home. he came to pick me up from work, and he was like "yeah, i went to the russian's house". IS THAT HOW YOU REGAIN SOMEONE'S TRUST? by lying? breaking the agreement that was put into effect for the sole purpose of regaining my trust? okay, it's not such a huge ofense that he went to see his friends, and i agree that the agreement was a little unfair, so he should have TALKED to me about that, TOLD me that he thought it was unfair and that he wanted to go there by himself, but no, instead he lied to me and did whatever he wanted. And i really was trying to get over all of this. this is like the last straw. it reminds me of when we both discussed whether or not to get health insurance. we AGREED to wait a year, so we could pay off some debts with that $130 a week. he was all for that. "okay, we will wait a year." what did he do? he signed himself up for health insurance the next day. he didn't call to let me know he changed his mind or try to tell me he wanted the insurance. nope. he's a lying, untrustworthy sack of shit that i was unfortunate enough to fall in love with, because love is blind and i am the biggest blindest fool of them all, well, not anymore. the light is really hurting my eyes now.

[OnyxCougar]

So what are you going to do?

[ladysycamore]

Originally posted by Riddil
*shrug*

Awighty. If no one else sees any problem with what LS said, then I'll cede the point, it's really not that important.

I wasn't trying to argue from some sort of "victim mentality" perspective. I'm literally the biggest detractor of that argument. Further, I completely agree that bad homes create bad children. What's more is that I find them pretty durn annoying too. But at the same time I think it's tasteless decry someone's problems in a public forum, and directly to their face.

My office-mate is an old-timer who's been a smoker for 20-30 years. He quit a year ago for health reasons, but he still coughs and hacks from time to time. And yeah, it can get annoying when I'm trying to talk on the phone and suddenly there's a coughing fit in the background.

I don't pity his health since he made the choice to smoke for all those years. But I do pity the tough situation that he's in.

Yes...the tough situation he put HIMSELF in. It wasn't like he could not have stopped that from happening. And he probably knows it.

It's annoying for me to listen to that coughing, but at the same time I'm sure that it's much harder on him since he's the one living with those problems. It's my minor annoyance, it's his rough life. I just think that pointing out another person's plight which annoys you is... well... rude.

Apple and oranges. His coughing will not affect your life in about 10-20 years. A child raised in a dysfunctional home and grows up without any type of counseling WILL affect society in some way, shape, or fashion. Robbery, anyone? Theft, anyone? School shootings, anyone? Thanks, but no thanks. This is why professionals constantly tell people to break the cycle (of violence, of abuse, of whatever), so that the next generation of kids won't be affected by the adult's problems and pass it along to THEIR kids. I mean, how long do you honestly think society is going to put up with such madness?