Weird News

[footfootfoot]

www.territorialseed.com -- for the Newly Aged Oregonian crowd.
Has a plethora of color pictures and a lot of cultivation info. and up until a couple of years ago they carried Papaver Somniferum.
Cons: seed is more expensive than fedco.

www.fedcoseeds.com -- for the hard core Birkenstock and flannel wearing, knit your own yogurt crafting hippies. Much less expensive and their paper catalog will give you hours of raving entertainment.

Cons: No color pictures

[Carruthers]

An elderly man living on state pension has been handed a tax bill of £4.7 billion*.

Doug Yeomans, 78, received a letter from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (HMRC) demanding he pay the huge bill in five monthly instalments of £950 million.

The pensioner, a retired civil engineer from Shardlow in Derbyshire, phoned HMRC to be told “there might have been an error”.

"I opened the letter and saw the amount and thought to myself, 'I'd better start cutting down on the food bill then',” Mr Yeomans said.

"They must think I'm a footballer or something, but I don't even think that Russian bloke who owns Chelsea could afford that amount."

The grandfather and father of two was left further frustrated when he was told to contact a different department and struggled to get through to the right person.

He said it seemed easier to get an audience with the Pope than to speak to the relevant person at HMRC.

"I think I can probably just about afford the £255, but I think the rest might be pushing it a bit,” he said.

"I live off a state pension, topped up with what I put aside as a pension after a lifetime of working in the building trade."

Mr Yeomans added that he had received “a lot of bills and demands” from the taxman over the past few months, which worried him.

A spokesman for HMRC said: “We are very sorry to hear of the problems our customer has had and are very sorry about our error.

"We don't talk about individual cases but when we make mistakes we aim to put them right fast and apologise."

* About $7 billion.

It annoys me that HMRC refers to 'customers' instead of tax payers.

I think 'victims' would be more accurate.

Daily Telegraph

[Sundae]

It annoyed me when London Underground started to refer to its human cago as "customers" not passengers. Because it's not like they have a monopoly on the Tube, right...

[Lamplighter]

Venezuela’s consumer goods shortage now includes condoms
Quartz - Melvin Backman - 1/5/15

Venezuelan shoppers have grown accustomed to waiting in huge lines to buy
even the most fundamental items, from milk to car batteries to laundry soap.
They are encountering shortages of McDonald’s fries. Now Bloomberg has spotted
importers charging $755 for a 40-count box of condoms on an auction website
(though you could probably save some money if you have access
to the country’s black market exchange rate).<snip>

[DanaC]

For some reason my brain read that as:

Venezuelan shoppers have grown accustomed to waiting in huge lines to buy
even the most fundamental items, from milk to cat batteries to laundry soap.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by DanaC

For some reason my brain read that as

Cat=pussy>vibrator>batteries.

You had a Mrs. Slocombe moment.

[BigV]

no, they're completely out of cat batteries. you can't get them anywhere anymore.

[xoxoxoBruce]

(though you could probably save some money if you have access
to the country’s black market exchange rate).<snip>

[Carruthers]

B&Q sends Fifty Shades of Grey memo warning staff to expect soar in demand for cable ties and rope

Staff told to read book in preparation and to deal with queries in a 'sensitive' manner

Staff at B&Q stores have been told to read Fifty Shades of Grey and prepare for a massive rise in demand for rope, cable ties and tape.

A leaked memo reveals that workers at the DIY chain have been asked to prepare themselves for "sensitive" customer questions about such products, which could be used in sexual role play.

The memo, circulated to the DIY store's entire 20,887 workforce at 359 stores, is titled: "Staff Briefing – Preparation for Fifty Shades of Grey Customer Queries."

It says copies of the erotic novel will be delivered to each store and can then be lent to staff on a one week basis.

Staff are urged to familiarise themselves with the book and to deal with any related queries in a "polite, helpful and respectful manner".

The Fifty Shades of Grey film adaptation of the book is released this weekend.

It follows the relationship between college graduate Anastasia Steele, played by Dakota Johnson, 25, and businessman, Christian Grey, played by Northern Irish actor Jamie Dornan, 32.

Grey introduces Steele to the world of bondage and dominant sexual role play and both the book and the film include a scene in which he visits a hardware store to purchase rope, cable ties and tape.

The memo says: "We stock many of the products featured in this notable scene and then used later in the film.

"When the book was released in 2012 DIY and hardware stores in the UK and US reported increased demand of certain products and queries from customers as they tried to recreate their own "Fifty Shades" experiences.

"We need to be prepared for the same effect when the film is released this month.

"All staff are encouraged to familiarise themselves with the content of Fifty Shades of Grey by reading the novel or watching the film upon its release."

A B&Q spokesperson said: "B&Q remains committed to serving our customers in all their DIY needs and we strive to prepare our staff for any enquiry. Customer satisfaction is always our number one priority.”

The memo:

STAFF BRIEFING

PREPARATION FOR FIFTY SHADES OF GREY CUSTOMER QUERIES

OVERVIEW

Following the film release of Fifty Shades of Grey, B&Q employees may encounter increased customer product queries relating to rope, cable ties and masking or duck tape. Store Managers should anticipate the need for extra stock and store staff should read the following brief to prepare them to handle potentially sensitive customer questions.

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

On Saturday 14th February 2015 popular erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey will be released as a film and is expected to do well in the Box Office. Written by E.L. James, the story follows the relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young, successful business man, Christian Grey, who introduces her to the world of bondage and dominant/submissive sexual role play.

Preview footage depicts a notable scene from the book where Christian Grey visits a hardware store to purchase rope, cable ties and tape. Rather than bought for home improvement purposes, these products are intended to fulfil Mr Grey's unconventional sexual pursuits.

WHY DOES IT AFFECT US?

As the UK's leading DIY store, we stock many of the products featured in this notable scene and then used later in the film. When the book was released in 2012 DIY and hardware stores in the UK and US reported increased demand of certain products and queries from customers as they tried to recreate their own 'Fifty Shades' experiences. We need to be prepared for the same effect when the film is released this month.

B&Q'S POLICY

It is always B&Q's policy that products should only be used for their designed purposes. Nevertheless, all staff should read this briefing notice to prepare for potentially sensitive customer enquiries and managers need to be aware of the implications that the film may have on stock levels.

STAFF BRIEFING

All staff are encouraged to familiarise themselves with the content of Fifty Shades of Grey by reading the novel or watching the film upon its release. Copies of the book will be delivered to each store and can be lent to staff on a one week basis. Understanding the storyline and how some products that B&Q stock feature in the film will better prepare staff for incoming queries.

Queries may be unusual and sensitive in nature but staff are reminded of B&Q's commitment to assist customers in a polite, helpful and respectful manner. A level of discretion is also advised.

Store managers are requested to monitor stock levels of rope, cable ties, masking tape and duck tape to ensure that supplies do not run low. Fifty Shades of Grey is released in cinemas on Saturday 14th February 2015 and the busiest sales periods for these products are expected to run from Sunday 15th February to Sunday 1st March 2015 with a focus on weekend trading.

The date for the DVD and home entertainment release of Fifty Shades of Grey is yet to be confirmed but a second briefing may be issued closer to that time.

STAFF ARE ASKED TO KEEP THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING WITHIN THE COMPANY.

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS RELATING TO THE CONTENTS OF THIS BRIEFING PLEASE SPEAK TO YOUR REGIONAL MANAGER.

I understand that plans for a sequel, set in the world of espionage, are well under way. Casting sessions are being held for the role of James Bondage.


Daily Telegraph.

[Clodfobble]

This is exactly the kind of thing that the guy talks about in the marketing expose' book I've been reading. According to him, there is no such thing as a "leaked" memo, ever. Ever.

What happened is, B&Q wanted to put out an ad saying, "Hey kinksters! Come buy your S&M gear at B&Q!" But that's a little too risque in general, and they can't be perceived as encouraging people to try bondage. So instead, they write a fake memo "preparing" their employees for the "presumed" influx of kinksters, send it anonymously to a blogger, and now not only do they get their advertisement out there without looking like kinksters themselves, but they get it for free, because now it's not an ad, it's "news."

[fargon]

KINKY!!!

[Gravdigr]

Bride is badly beaten by her new husband on their wedding night - because he couldn't take off her dress

A bride was beaten by her new husband on their wedding night because he couldn’t get her dress off, a court heard.

So...






















Why was he wearing her dress?

[fargon]

What an a$$hole.

[glatt]

You click through the link, and that wife beater is wearing a wife beater.

[DanaC]

Apparently she had a crochet hook to undo the fasteing but he refused to use it. Beat her , left the room, came back and beat her again.

What an utter cock. And he got 2 years community service. If he'd assaulted a stranger on the street he'd probably have served time.