Confession Time

[SamIam]

I have been considering doing this for a while and now seems as good a time as any. I know that a few of you (maybe more than a few) know my "dark" secret.

Yes, in another lifetime I was a member of the Cellar under the name "Marichiko." I got banned and, for the most part, I deserved it. This was what? Seven years ago? I forget.

I will only say this much about Marichiko. It is true that shortly before she (I) joined the Cellar, I suffered a prolonged episode of anoxia (lack of oxygen) due to carbon monoxide poisoning which did adversely effect my thinking and my emotions. I was angry often; I was paranoid a lot; and I was always afraid. This combo did not make for very wonderful posts here on the Cellar. I was pretty crazy at times and struck out against a lot of people. While the reasons for this were mostly organic, I take full responsibility for my actions and I apologize to all here.

Some time after Marichiko got banned from this site, I began to get competent medical help. I also began to get help from the system I had raged against so much. I am working on qualifying for rehab services and I even have been able to go back to work on a limited level.

Now, I could hardly come back as Marichiko. I had to come back under a different user name and hopefully prove that I am not the provocative, semi-hysterical person I once was. SamIam has been around for over 4 years and has made over 2,000 posts. I have engaged in no major controversies that I can think of, other than exhanging barbs with UG and Merc.

I enjoy the Cellar. There are many thoughtful, funny people who post stuff that is often amusing or enlightening or both. I would like to stay on. However, I don't want to intrude where people don't want me.

I apologize for coming back under a different user name, just as I apologize for my actions as Marichiko. I leave my fate here up to you Dwellers.

Oh, and PS: I did not see this thread until I had already written this post. http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=26083 Really.