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Old 05-10-2011, 09:21 AM   #1
infinite monkey
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I don't know what to do

I'm seriously at my wit's end.

There was a conversation in another thread about those of us who cannot stand mouth noises: gum chewing, eating with your mouth open, lip-smacking...

In the last couple weeks, my cow orker, my cube neighbor, who I really really like, seems to have gone off the deep end with the gum. It is ALL day, every day. Just constant little cracky slurpy type noises, but I can't STOP hearing them. When I think I've tuned it out...it seems to get LOUDER.

I've tried turning on a desk fan. I've worn earphones (then a girl got sort of snippy with me yesterday because she was standing behind me--people here like to sneak up like spiders) and I didn't hear her immediately.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to ignore it. I just can't. It goes on and on and on. I think I should just deal with it but everytime I hear it I get more and more tense. I was ready to jam a pencil in my eye yesterday: i was trying to concentrate on a particularly difficult issue and all I could hear is "snap...slurp...pop...crackle...slurp."

I found this article concerning the same thing. I SHOULD just say something to her, honestly. I just don't think I can bring myself to do this.

http://www.sector404.org/archives/20...wing-etiquette

Meanwhile, it's driving me straight bonkers.

I wish I were deaf to it. I wish I could ignore it. I wish it didn't bother me. But none of those things are true.

I never want to hurt her feelings. She's a darling person.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:25 AM   #2
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P.S. I should also say I can deal with lunch noises. It's, at most, an hour.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:26 AM   #3
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Humor always works. Have you tried something light hearted like
"Shut your fucking piehole you fat cow or I'll come over there and stuff this phone down your throat and staple your goddamn lips together."
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:28 AM   #4
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You could get yourself a set of wireless headphones. Then people sneaking up behind you know that you can't hear them; and you can listen to music or learn a foreign language.

Lots of people in my office do that.

Maybe I need to quit chewing gum.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:31 AM   #5
infinite monkey
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That's an idea.

I have a feeling the wigs of big will frown on wearing headphones. I might not hear the shooter and have time to escape.

I should maybe talk to the director, but GAWD it sounds so pathetic.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:32 AM   #6
infinite monkey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
Humor always works. Have you tried something light hearted like
"Shut your fucking piehole you fat cow or I'll come over there and stuff this phone down your throat and staple your goddamn lips together."
No, THAT'S what runs through my head. Except the fat cow part. She's a tiny thing.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:34 AM   #7
infinite monkey
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Oh, and I have been known (to myself) to take an anti-anxiety just to try to not jam a pencil in my eye.

"Hey doc, can you refill that script?"

"Well, why did you run out?"

"My cow orker chews gum too much, and it's awful."

"Hmmm. OK. Here's a referreral." *hands me a card from the looney bin.*
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:37 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey View Post
No, THAT'S what runs through my head. Except the fat cow part. She's a tiny thing.
Karen Carpenter?
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:41 AM   #9
HungLikeJesus
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Maybe get her a cone of silence.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:49 AM   #10
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Lean over the cube wall, grin, and say "that thar gum sure does sound yummy. Could you, maybe, spare a piece for me?"
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:52 AM   #11
infinite monkey
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I'll mull it over.

Just so you know, I meant talk to the director not in an "I'm tellin'!" way but maybe she could give a gentle reminder at the next staff meeting about "personal noises."

For now, I'm putting in my earbuds. Luckily, I won (through marlboro.com...HAHA) a pair that actually fits into my ears, though they give me a huge headache.

My ears were not meant for human consumption.
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Old 05-10-2011, 09:59 AM   #12
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her gum chewing is harshing your buzz in a very serious way - needing an anxiolytic because of this sounds like you should win this one.

that's too serious to just try to ignore. I'd tell her - in a really nice, non confron. way.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:02 AM   #13
infinite monkey
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I know. Such a wimp, I am. I don't want to cause ill feelings.

It feels so silly. Crazy. In my defense, there are people with super-sensitive hearing.

Example: when a Harley goes by, I think my head will explode.

Maybe I'm the Bionic Woman and I forgot.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:29 AM   #14
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earphones AND a rear view mirror.

I'm not kidding about the mirror.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:32 AM   #15
infinite monkey
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Some in my office have had the mirrors on their desks. See, they think we're 12 and we have to face with computers facing out and asses ready for kicking.

I can't stand to see a mirror accidentally, so I don't know about the mirror.

See, now I just need to be deaf AND blind.
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