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Old 04-01-2016, 04:41 PM   #1
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
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Shit from my desk

I talked before about things I found in my desk, but I can't remember where, so I'll put in here. I don't understand why I can't remember, I have a perfect memory, or my name isn't Ralph.

Jerry Penacoli was an evening news anchor in Philly for about five years before moving on to what Wiki calls, “actor and entertainment reporter”. Before he left town there was a story widely circulated that he paid a wee hours visit to the ER to have an errant Gerbil removed. I don’t know anyone who actually believed it, but it was a running joke for years, that never had to be explained. There was also rumors of Richard Gere having the same plight.

In that atmosphere I acquired a bunch of these lightweight chains with a fine spring loop on each end. The total length about 5 inches.



Sick fuck that I am, and in the previous mentioned atmosphere, I invented the Gerbil Jerk™©®, a recovery leash for your shaved Gerbil. I put them in small plastic bags with a fancy label, and gave them out around Christmas.
I gave one to a friend in Dallas who I only see once a year, and the following year he returned the favor, with this.

Home made paper envelope...


With a home made hand crafted card inside...


containing the message...


He should not be allowed to fly, or handle sharp objects, until he's checked out by a board certified shrink.
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Old 04-01-2016, 04:44 PM   #2
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Now *that* is some Art right there.
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Old 04-01-2016, 04:47 PM   #3
xoxoxoBruce
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He also made a short video of me, doing standup, in Vegas, naked.
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Old 04-01-2016, 04:51 PM   #4
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If you're gonna be naked on video in Vegas, it's probably better to be standing up.
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Old 04-02-2016, 12:34 AM   #5
xoxoxoBruce
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Yeah, I am. It's only 428KB, but it's an SWF(Shockwave Flash) file.
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Old 04-02-2016, 11:06 AM   #6
Undertoad
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That's some quality shit right there!
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Old 04-04-2016, 06:10 PM   #7
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Gerbian...
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Old 06-08-2016, 06:25 PM   #8
xoxoxoBruce
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Well it's on my desk, I was checking my computer's prostate a found these.
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Old 06-08-2016, 06:25 PM   #9
xoxoxoBruce
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One more...
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Old 06-12-2016, 12:39 PM   #10
xoxoxoBruce
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I was digging through a seldom explored drawer containing candles and incense, and found these two cassettes. Late at night after everyone was pretty spaced, these would wake up the crowd with a lot of smartass retorts and laughter.
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Old 06-12-2016, 12:48 PM   #11
Gravdigr
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My drawers have been seldom-explored of late, too.
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Old 06-13-2016, 11:11 AM   #12
Happy Monkey
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"An Historical" bugs me, though I suppose it's technically allowable based on your pronunciation of "historical".

I bet the content would bug me too.
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Old 06-13-2016, 11:44 AM   #13
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I'm sure it would, unless you were as fucked up as we were.
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Old 12-11-2017, 06:46 PM   #14
xoxoxoBruce
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I was cleaning out an old computer pre-donating to goodwill and found a folder of charts. These 5 pertain to the holidays but unsourced and mostly undated they're only for amusement, rather than information, now.
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Old 12-11-2017, 06:57 PM   #15
xoxoxoBruce
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Here's some on pot, same caveats as above...
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