There's Lumberthing I don't want to tell you

[Undertoad]

He draws from Stoicism (taken with a grain of salt)

That's wonderful! It should really help.

and Socrates,

Of course! The foundation.

and Foucault.

Aw shit. Well two out of three. (grin like i know what i'm talking about)

[Undertoad]

but she has her own support network and doesn't welcome my concern

Totally unfair followup: does she have concern for you?

[lumberjim]

Not to my knowledge. I am no longer a source of income for her. Pretty sure she'd rather I were pushing up daisies myself.

That no longer hurts to say. After all this time, and in this circumstance, even her mother and sister are at a loss to explain the hatred she holds on to. The only thing I can think is that she must love me very much to carry this hatred for so long.

That doesn't hurt either.

I wish her the best.

[DanaC]

Well, they do say hatred and love are two sides of the same coin.

[Flint]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

After all this time, and in this circumstance, even her mother and sister are at a loss to explain the hatred she holds on to. The only thing I can think is that she must love me very much to carry this hatred for so long.

It gets even weirder when they don't act like they hate you anymore-- acting as everything is "back to normal" after eviscerating you, setting up a fail-proof scheme to literally ruin your life and reputation with everyone in your 10,000-person town.

[lumberjim]

I wouldn't know. Seems strange. I've only been in 3 committed relationships. I'm still in one, and the previous 2 ended with compete cessation of communication. Well... 4, but 2 were with the same girl. The first time I walked away, she did the second time.

It does make me scratch my head and wonder what it is about me that makes women end things so abruptly. Maybe just life prepping me for what just happened. It doesn't get any more abrupt than that shit.

[DanaC]

I doubt it's anything about you. Some people are just like that - they love and then they hate. I've known a few people like that. It's like ...after a breakup you expect someone to bitch about their ex a bit - usually, most people in my experience kinda wobble between anger or hatred and affection or need - sometimes just the anger or hate, but even then it usually loses its fire after a bit.

I've known a few people that just don't move past the hate.

[lumberjim]

Could be I guess. I was thinking that because I'm kind of persuasive and logical when I speak, they didn't trust themselves to hold to their decision to end things. I recall Shelby saying that I bent reality when I talked in my calm voice....or something like that. Like I distorted things so subtly that it altered her view of things. Heather behaved in a way that indicated the same effect. We would be fine while I was with her, but communication via text or email always devolved into drama.

[lumberjim]

That sounded like vanity

[sexobon]

Might sound different if you say it to yourself.

[xoxoxoBruce]

You're strong and physically imposing, you're intelligent, you have spent your life talking people into believing you, and you have resources. That adds up to a formidable opponent.


Oh, and you're one of those Harley Biker terrorists.

If Spenser is that stoic I wonder what he knew in advance. <no question mark.

[lumberjim]

He was as shocked as everyone. He'd had 2.5 weeks to sort through it by the time i saw him again. She had small scars on her upper thigh from cutting when she was 14. Told me they were stretch marks. There were only 3 or 4, so I let it be. They looked old. I think she was 16 when I saw them. Figured she was aping some emo shit she saw.

Her college roommate said she'd been seeing the school therapist. None of us knew that.

[DanaC]

My youngest niece went through a phase of cutting herself. Worries me - her sister wears her heart on her sleeve - but Soph is very contained. Don't know something is up until it's past tense and she's already dealt with it.

[lumberjim]

Give her that book. Today. Can only help her.

[DanaC]

I think her mum has already given her a library of mindfulness books.

I do think she's okay, but I also know that doesn't mean very much.


[eta] one of her combined honours at uni is psychology and I think that's plugged her into some useful stuff.