Banana related deaths

ZenGum · 10-19-2007, 10:22 AM

This came up at work a few days ago: how many different ways can a person be killed that involve a banana (or bananas) as a crucial component?
For example:

Slip on a banana peel and crack your head.

Choke while attempting to eat too much banana.

Crushed to death under huge pile of bananas.

Smothered by being wrapped in a blanket made of stitched-together banana skins.

Stabbed to death with a (very) frozen, sharpened banana.

Hanged or garroted with a rope made from the fibers from a banana peel.

Drown in pureed banana.

And some less direct ones:

Suffer from such severe bananaphobia as to have a fatal heart attack at the sight of one.

Become convinced you are a banana, leap into a swimming pool attempting to make fruit salad, and drown.

Be sexually obsessed with bananas, be caught in an act of public banana-related perversion, and die of embarrassment.

Variant - choke while attempting to fellate a banana.

Be beaten to death by an angry gorilla from whom you are trying to steal a banana.

I am sure there are more, so let your twisted imaginations run free!

LabRat · 10-19-2007, 10:31 AM

While attempting a healthy breakfast of banana in the car driving to work accidently drop it, and in attempt to retrieve it from your floorboards cross the median and get crushed under the wheels of an oncoming 18 wheeler.

Flint · 10-19-2007, 10:40 AM

You go on an all-banana diet, and eventually die from never pooping ever again.

glatt · 10-19-2007, 10:59 AM

You're doing the old pound a nail into a board with a frozen banana dipped in liquid nitrogen trick at the local grade school, and the brittle frozen banana shatters. The little banana slivers scatter all across the floor, where they immediately thaw out.

You slip on the slick mess covering the floor, and land on the dewar of liquid nitrogen. It spills all over you, causing serious frostbite on 10% of your body. The frostbite gets infected and you die.

SteveDallas · 10-19-2007, 11:14 AM

Suicidal rage induced by one too many playings of "Banana Phone"?

EDIT: If you want to listen to it, go Google it for yourself. I don't want to have that responsibility weighing on my conscience.

Flint · 10-19-2007, 11:33 AM

Sundae · 10-19-2007, 11:42 AM

I am glad you are highlighting how dangerous bananas are.
They are in fact the devil's fruit, and I can only choke them down when they are heavily disguised.

Cloud · 10-19-2007, 11:46 AM

Did you make that up? You could totally change the focus by inserting anykind of widget in place of a banana.

ZenGum · 10-19-2007, 11:56 AM

Labrat: quite likely
Flint (first): damn, I should have thought of that.
Glatt: very tense, never knew quite when the death was going to come. The next Steven King.
Steve: also, being killed by someone else driven to homicidal rage by the song, seems equally likely.
Flint (second): I was happier without having that in my universe, thank you. Go buy a whole lot of bananas, please.
Sundae Girl: And their shape is saucily suggestive, leading to carnal thoughts. They are clearly abominations.
Cloud: not all widgets will fit everywhere a banana will. Take care. But yes, I think I mostly made up the idea. And I sense thread drift approaching...

Spexxvet · 10-19-2007, 12:02 PM

Someone shoots you with their banana gun

jester · 10-19-2007, 12:24 PM

Have you never watched "Transylvania 6-5000"

slipping on a peel

SteveDallas · 10-19-2007, 12:27 PM

Flint, I guess you don't care if you go to Hell.

Or is it that you feel you're already there, and want more of us to join you?

monster · 10-19-2007, 12:50 PM

Practicing applying condoms in sex ed class, the banana gets over-excited and shoots it's load, all over the guy practicing with the cucumber. he jolts forward and (accidentally) rams the cucumber up the arse of the class nerd, causing him to tighten his grip on the small limp pickle and two grapes he brought. They shoot out of his grasp, the grapes lodge in each of your nostrils and the pickle flies into your gob which is stick open from the shock of seeing a banana cum. pickle obstructs windpipe, you suffocate.

Flint · 10-19-2007, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDallas

Flint, I guess you don't care if you go to Hell.

Or is it that you feel you're already there, and want more of us to join you?

I, for one, welcome our banana overlords.

lumberjim · 10-19-2007, 01:24 PM

What about an poin'ed stick?

10-19-2007, 10:22 AM	#1
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Banana related deaths This came up at work a few days ago: how many different ways can a person be killed that involve a banana (or bananas) as a crucial component? For example: Slip on a banana peel and crack your head. Choke while attempting to eat too much banana. Crushed to death under huge pile of bananas. Smothered by being wrapped in a blanket made of stitched-together banana skins. Stabbed to death with a (very) frozen, sharpened banana. Hanged or garroted with a rope made from the fibers from a banana peel. Drown in pureed banana. And some less direct ones: Suffer from such severe bananaphobia as to have a fatal heart attack at the sight of one. Become convinced you are a banana, leap into a swimming pool attempting to make fruit salad, and drown. Be sexually obsessed with bananas, be caught in an act of public banana-related perversion, and die of embarrassment. Variant - choke while attempting to fellate a banana. Be beaten to death by an angry gorilla from whom you are trying to steal a banana. I am sure there are more, so let your twisted imaginations run free!

10-19-2007, 10:31 AM	#2
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	While attempting a healthy breakfast of banana in the car driving to work accidently drop it, and in attempt to retrieve it from your floorboards cross the median and get crushed under the wheels of an oncoming 18 wheeler. __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within.

10-19-2007, 10:40 AM	#3
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	You go on an all-banana diet, and eventually die from never pooping ever again. __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-19-2007, 11:33 AM	#6
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	__________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-19-2007, 11:42 AM	#7
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I am glad you are highlighting how dangerous bananas are. They are in fact the devil's fruit, and I can only choke them down when they are heavily disguised. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-19-2007, 10:59 AM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	You're doing the old pound a nail into a board with a frozen banana dipped in liquid nitrogen trick at the local grade school, and the brittle frozen banana shatters. The little banana slivers scatter all across the floor, where they immediately thaw out. You slip on the slick mess covering the floor, and land on the dewar of liquid nitrogen. It spills all over you, causing serious frostbite on 10% of your body. The frostbite gets infected and you die.

10-19-2007, 11:14 AM	#5
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Suicidal rage induced by one too many playings of "Banana Phone"? EDIT: If you want to listen to it, go Google it for yourself. I don't want to have that responsibility weighing on my conscience.

10-19-2007, 11:46 AM	#8
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	Did you make that up? You could totally change the focus by inserting anykind of widget in place of a banana. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"

10-19-2007, 11:56 AM	#9
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Labrat: quite likely Flint (first): damn, I should have thought of that. Glatt: very tense, never knew quite when the death was going to come. The next Steven King. Steve: also, being killed by someone else driven to homicidal rage by the song, seems equally likely. Flint (second): I was happier without having that in my universe, thank you. Go buy a whole lot of bananas, please. Sundae Girl: And their shape is saucily suggestive, leading to carnal thoughts. They are clearly abominations. Cloud: not all widgets will fit everywhere a banana will. Take care. But yes, I think I mostly made up the idea. And I sense thread drift approaching...

10-19-2007, 12:02 PM	#10
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Someone shoots you with their banana gun __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-19-2007, 12:24 PM	#11
jester why so serious Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 1,712	Have you never watched "Transylvania 6-5000" slipping on a peel

10-19-2007, 12:27 PM	#12
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	Flint, I guess you don't care if you go to Hell. Or is it that you feel you're already there, and want more of us to join you?

10-19-2007, 12:50 PM	#13
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	Practicing applying condoms in sex ed class, the banana gets over-excited and shoots it's load, all over the guy practicing with the cucumber. he jolts forward and (accidentally) rams the cucumber up the arse of the class nerd, causing him to tighten his grip on the small limp pickle and two grapes he brought. They shoot out of his grasp, the grapes lodge in each of your nostrils and the pickle flies into your gob which is stick open from the shock of seeing a banana cum. pickle obstructs windpipe, you suffocate. __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

10-19-2007, 01:24 PM	#15
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	What about an poin'ed stick? __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

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