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12-16-2015, 03:21 AM
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#1381 |
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polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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Passed on by my brother.
Made me smile.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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12-16-2015, 07:33 AM
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#1382 |
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™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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"Chocolate tube" sounds kind of kinky and dirty.
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12-16-2015, 07:31 PM
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#1383 |
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Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,774
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It didn't until you said that, glatt!
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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12-17-2015, 02:38 PM
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#1384 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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You are both right.
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 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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12-18-2015, 10:35 AM
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#1385 |
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polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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There was a man on the market today selling panda bowls.
"Strawberries, grapes, panda bowl!" he shouted.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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12-18-2015, 10:38 AM
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#1386 |
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The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Chocolate tube map is called a colostomy so your health insurance will pay for it.
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The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump. |
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12-18-2015, 10:53 AM
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#1387 | |
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Radical Centrist
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 31,423
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Quote:
Us: "What's in that dish?" Chinese waiter: "Pork, wester balls, broth..." Us: "Ew! What are wester balls?" Chinese waiter: "You know, onion, carrot..." |
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01-16-2016, 09:19 PM
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#1388 |
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UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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There's a woman in London with my same name, who is too stupid to remember what her actual email address is, and gives out mine all the time as her own. Subsequently, I get all sorts of email for her on a regular basis. I know about her divorce a couple of years ago, I know about her business trips to Ireland, I know the names of her three children and also that of her new husband (the same as my middle name!) Mind you, I am always kind enough to write back and let them know they have the wrong person, but there's always someone new for her to screw it up with it.
Well, it's been a rough week for the London version of me. First, she blew 130 pounds (!) on a grey Michael Kors designer wallet--with a gift message for her friend Aoife, meaning she blew 130 pounds on a wallet for someone else, dear God--and as the confirmation emails made very clear, she will have been absolutely unable to pick up her item from the store unless she presents a copy of my email proving she is the purchaser. Then, as if Thursday hadn't been difficult enough, I just received an 8-paragraph letter from her full-time nanny, detailing all the (justifiable) reasons why she was quitting, including but not limited to the fact that her children are "cold" and "very disrespectful." The UK me is kind of a bitch, I gather. |
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01-16-2016, 09:46 PM
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#1389 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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She isn't as hilarious as you are!
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01-16-2016, 09:49 PM
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#1390 |
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Person who doesn't update the user title
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
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Damn cold. Drippy nose and fever. Even a hot bath and cold medicine aren't working. Grumble.
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01-16-2016, 09:57 PM
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#1391 |
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I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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Remember, if your nose runs and your feet smell ... you're upside down.
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01-17-2016, 10:46 AM
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#1392 |
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still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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Good stuff Clod good stuff.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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01-17-2016, 04:03 PM
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#1393 | |
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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Quote:
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01-17-2016, 05:31 PM
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#1394 |
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UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
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Admittedly, it isn't my "real" account, or even my backup account, it's the third-tier one that truly only gets used for spam and YouTube crap (because once Google bought YouTube they made it very difficult to do YouTube without a Gmail address.) If I had to deal with it in my face every day I might get less tolerant.
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01-28-2016, 09:30 AM
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#1395 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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This morning on the radio, I heard the dj refer to a news story that referenced "[John Doe], an African-American from Canada,"...
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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