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Old 12-13-2015, 09:27 PM   #301
monster
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he kissed a girl?
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Old 12-14-2015, 03:28 PM   #302
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Kind of been pondering the thought of retirement in a couple more years. I don't know though... It's going to be tough considering I've worked the past 40 years. Just the thought of hanging out at the house more than 50% of the time is kind of scary. My wife is especially excited about it... I have no clue as to why she would want to hang out with me 24/7. I mean to say... She's a good woman and has been an exceptional wife forever so far. But I still get chills up my spine thinking about having to hang out with her 24/7. I just can't imagine hanging out at Department Stores watching her shop for clothes or shoes. Oh Gawd... Shoes!!! She has over 50 pair now - I know because I bought the rack to put them on and it's full.

Anyway... On the other side of the coin I'm getting sick of working. Maybe I'll be able to find a happy medium by then.

Who knows? Not me... Yet anyway.
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Old 12-14-2015, 05:47 PM   #303
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Oh man, you gotta get your own time-intensive hobby before you commit to something like that.
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Old 12-14-2015, 06:46 PM   #304
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Yes.


Sent by thought transference
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Old 12-14-2015, 06:59 PM   #305
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I agree, the great thing about being retired is you can do what you want, not what someone else wants. If the spouse is telling you what to do every day, you might as well be working. Find your own shit to do, and if she wants you to do something with her, schedule it, just like when you had a job. You just have more flexibility in the scheduling as to day of the week and time of day.
Nobody, including spouses, should assume you are doing anything unless they're paying you for your time.
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Old 12-15-2015, 04:06 AM   #306
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Not to mention, there is the flipside - so maybe you go with her to do some shoeshopping - but then maybe she goes with you to do your thing.

There's also volunteering. A really nice way of getting to do stuff you might not have done in formal work, keeping a toe in the worldof the workplace, but tailored to how much time you want to give.

Mum did that when she retired. She spent a good few years working with refugees and asylum seekers and now she is a Samaritan listener. She spends about 6-9 hours a week taking calls from people who need to connect. Some suicidal,some just depressed,some coping with unusual and stressful situations (sometimes for example they'll get calls from people serving long prison sentences and struggling to cope) or who are just isolated (by age, infirmity, mental health) and need someone to talk to.

She gets to still be a part of the world, and her skills and talents continue to be useful. And she gets much more from her freetime because of that.
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Old 12-15-2015, 09:52 AM   #307
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My Mum made a concerted effort to "save" their marriage before they both retired.
They had both worked shifts for so long that they were out of the habit of spending time in eachother's company.
So using a supermarket bonus scheme they started spending a few nights away in various cities around the UK. Discovering eachother again.
Their marriage was not really in any danger, but she didn't want things to fall into silence and unhappiness.

As it turned out, with Dad's dementia, the time was very well spent. They couldn't do it now.

He retired before her, and has always been happy spending time alone.
He pottered about quite happily (spending too much money, but that's another story) until she also retired. Then they spent a lot of time visiting friends and family, going on holiday, and again visiting major Cathedral cities, which in American or Australian terms would be considered to be right on the doorstep.
Again, the timing was good considering what came very soon; Grandad's declining health, which meant they had to be home (until I moved back), Dad having to give up his driving licence, Mum's first round with breast cancer etc.

I understand what you're saying Madman, but never look at a relaxed and prosperous future as an arid desert. There are plenty of things to do, to see, places to go, life to live. I'm sure you and your wife will be in good health for years, but don't think about it as treading water. Make the most of the now.
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Old 12-15-2015, 11:27 AM   #308
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Not to mention, there is the flipside - so maybe you go with her to do some shoeshopping - but then maybe she goes with you to do your thing.
No no no, that's too much together time, even if he's doing what he wants. He needs "me" time, to suck in the gut when the lassies stroll by, and say naughty words at the pub about strongly felt issues.
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Old 12-16-2015, 11:23 PM   #309
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Don't put it off because you're scared of how long it might last and that it might be too early.... you have no idea how much time you have left, but you can be more certain about the near future than the far future, so use that well. Enjoy it.

Also, you don't need to have a plan for a time-eating hobby before you retire. You can Build It, He Will Come. Your pastime will most likely make itself known when you need it, a phoenix from the ashes
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Old 12-20-2015, 03:04 PM   #310
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Old 12-20-2015, 08:06 PM   #311
monster
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*snigger*
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Old 12-20-2015, 08:45 PM   #312
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I don't need friends to judge everyone.
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Old 12-26-2015, 05:45 PM   #313
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Does it help to apologize for being too apologetic?
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Old 12-26-2015, 05:58 PM   #314
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Does it help to apologize for being too apologetic?
What brought this on? As if I didn't know.
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Old 12-26-2015, 06:55 PM   #315
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Does it help to ask questions you already know the answers to?
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