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Old 05-06-2017, 10:24 PM   #331
BigV
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It's my turn. Not all today, but I'm still healing from 1/3 of my misadventures.

1 -- I have a new (to me) truck, details to follow. But it's got an automatic transmission and having put a couple hundred thousand miles (alllmost) on the VW Golf, I've rowed through a lot of gears. Anyhow, I was driving it home the other day, a really pretty day, I was kinda tired, kinda relaxed, listening to the music, not the news, and as I approached the stop sign, I reached for the clutch with my left foot. Obviously there is no clutch pedal. But the regular step down on it motion, in contrast to the usually much more delicate footwork with the right foot brought me a BIG surprise when my big foot caught the corner of the brake pedal. UURRRRK. screeech. thump. Only my pride and my neck suffered and even then not terribly, but it was kind of an idiot move.

2 -- I don't know much about this truck, it's new to me as I said. And the owner's manual gives some ... moderately detailed diagrams to help the owner distinguish which engine is in the truck, the 3.0 liter V6 or the 4.0 liter V6. Turns out I have the 4.0 liter, but I didn't come to that conclusion until after I'd branded the side of my hand against the exhaust header. Like that city slicker visiting the horseshoe making blacksmith, it doesn't take me long to check out a hot header, but definitely long enough to leave a mark. I looked for a picture, couldn't find one. Just imagine a dumb person with a burned hand. That'd be me.

3 -- For SakuraCon this year I was working on my costume. One part of it involved drilling some small holes in couple of stainless steel mixing bowls. I don't have a vise big enough to hold a bowl, so I just held it in my lap. As I'm pressing down on the concave surface of the bowl with... moderate pressure, I was blithely unaware that the drill was pointed right at my crotch. That is until the drill slipped and I tried to stab myself in the femoral artery.

Idiot.

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Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 05-06-2017, 11:23 PM   #332
xoxoxoBruce
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#1 - been there, done that, many times because I own multiple vehicles but primarily drive the automatics. Also braking without pushing in the clutch, but that's not as embarrassing because it's less noticeable by other drivers.

#2 - Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, burning the equivalent of probably two complete sheets of body covering skin.

#3 - Not that way, but drill, grinder, a saw wounds for sure.

#4 - My pet mechanic trick is working underneath, bang my forehead on the vehicle, jerk my head back and bash the back of my head into the ground, then jerk my head up and you know what happens. My record is two complete cycles without stopping.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:21 PM   #333
captainhook455
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Thats a nice picture of your nuts.

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Old 05-08-2017, 07:53 AM   #334
footfootfoot
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A buddy once let a belt sander rest on his thigh for a moment while it was running down. Grabbed his jeans, his thigh skin, and anything within reach and dragged it all into the machine. Left a hell of a mess.
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Old 05-09-2017, 06:54 AM   #335
Griff
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jesus...
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Old 05-09-2017, 08:47 AM   #336
xoxoxoBruce
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Yes?
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Old 05-09-2017, 02:59 PM   #337
Gravdigr
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff View Post
jesus...
Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce View Post
Yes?
Baby: My God, Gravdigr.

Me: I know it seems that way sometimes, but I'm just a man, Baby.

True Story™.
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:48 PM   #338
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If ever there were an idiot:

Not This Again! (A Handy Reminder)
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Old 07-06-2017, 02:52 PM   #339
xoxoxoBruce
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A hand-y reminder?
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Old 07-06-2017, 04:59 PM   #340
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Old 07-18-2017, 12:29 AM   #341
xoxoxoBruce
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She had 3 kids it the wagon until one screamed so much she moved it to the car before she was stopped. She said she was doing 5mph, witnesses say 30.
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Old 07-22-2017, 11:17 AM   #342
BigV
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W. T. F.

When you've lost your damn mind, this is what it looks like.
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Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
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Old 09-10-2017, 04:53 PM   #343
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Ladies and gentlemen of The Cellar, I give to you our Idiot of the Day:

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Trying to inflate her tire w/a fire extinguisher.

Can ppl really be that stupid?
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