My strange mother in law

Aliantha · 08-25-2008, 09:44 PM

I don't think I've mentioned my MIL here before, but today we had a delivery of meat from her and I just think it's weird. There was 6kg of pork sausages. 1 whole king island rump. 2kg of beef mince. 1 leg of lamb and half a leg of ham on the bone. At christmas, she sent us 2 whole legs of ham. Now I'm sure most of you have seen the size of a whole leg of ham on the bone, so you know how much space they take up in the refridgerator. Luckily for us, we were able to clear out some space in the 'drinks' fridge downstairs. Another time she sent us a few kg of prawns, and she also sent us half a dozen bottles of asti riccadona. One time she sent a couple of bottles of bourbon.

My MIL is an alcoholic and she often calls when she's been drinking and carries on. When she found out I was pregnant she was pissed off. Now she's happy about it. I'm not sure of the reasons for either. When we were planning our wedding, the thing she was most interested in was if a certain couple of colleagues of Dazza's would be there because she wanted to get into a fight with them (we're talking about a woman who can hardly walk and is wheelchair bound against a 6 foot something tall bloke and his equally tall wife). On the other hand, she gave me almost all of her mothers gold jewellery when she passed away last year (I'm talking thousands of dollars worth) and she says she really likes my Dad and his wife (who is a Phillipina) but at the same time almost, she'll bitch about 'the asians taking over australia'. One of the first things she ever asked me was what religion I am. Luckily for me I'm catholic, and Daryl was worried about her finding out my boys are dark skinned because of her racist attitude. On that note, she recently referred to my boys as pickaninees (which is a term for black kids) and I was pretty pissed off about it.

There's lots more, but I just thought I'd put things down that come to mind.

How weird is your MIL?

squirell nutkin · 08-25-2008, 10:01 PM

Did your MIL, by chance, go to public school?

Just asking. 'Cause over here racism and prejudice are "core curriculum."

classicman · 08-25-2008, 10:04 PM

Don't have one right now THANK GOD! The first one was a psycho. The "hopefully" next one seems wonderful - - - so far.

Aliantha · 08-25-2008, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

Did your MIL, by chance, go to public school?

Just asking. 'Cause over here racism and prejudice are "core curriculum."

Well, if you're an example of private school education, you're no better from what I can tell. Smart arse responses don't make you better, or don't they teach you that in private school?

eta: and it's nice to see that you were definitely listening the day they were teaching you about generalizations and how productive they are to society.

binky · 08-25-2008, 11:31 PM

Mine passed away last year, and in the last few years, she was fine, but in the beginning HOO WHEE! She was english, upper class, finishing school, all that nonsense. I met my husband when he stayed at the hotel I worked at so he married "The help". We had our rough times, but eventually she worked her panties out of the bunch they were in, and everything was fine. Plus they can't live forever, right?

Clodfobble · 08-25-2008, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

One of the first things she ever asked me was what religion I am.

The very first thing my future-MIL asked my future-husband when he told her he had a new girlfriend was, "What kind of Christian is she?"

Also, she constantly explains what's going on on the television, in case the other people in the room don't get it. "Oh, he's upset because he doesn't want her to marry the other man!" This is, I think, a result of being a preschool teacher for 30-some years. After awhile, narrating the world around you becomes habit.

binky · 08-25-2008, 11:34 PM

Oh and I have a story about the pickaninnie thing. My best friends Grandmother, when they were in a Hometown buffet restaurant in San Diego, filled with black people, says "Oh look at all the sweet little pickaninnies! Keep in mind this was 1985, not 1885!

squirell nutkin · 08-25-2008, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Well, if you're an example of private school education, you're no better from what I can tell. Smart arse responses don't make you better, or don't they teach you that in private school?

eta: and it's nice to see that you were definitely listening the day they were teaching you about generalizations and how productive they are to society.

pllllfftttttttttttttt!

What makes you think I went to private school? I went to public school. Were you absent the day they taught about making assumptions? FYI when you make an assumption you make an ass out of you and umption.

pppppfffffffffffftttttttttt!

Aliantha · 08-25-2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by binky

Oh and I have a story about the pickaninnie thing. My best friends Grandmother, when they were in a Hometown buffet restaurant in Sand Diego, filled with black people, says "Oh look at all the sweet little pickaninnies! Keep in mind this was 1985, not 1885!

Oh yes. Affectionate racism. It just makes it so much better doesn't it?

Clodfobble · 08-25-2008, 11:39 PM

I want to say it was around 1991 that my great-uncle tried to convince my little brother that he was calling his "slingshot" by the completely wrong name, those things were called "n---er shooters."

Aliantha · 08-25-2008, 11:40 PM

OMG...I've never heard that before. Times have changed I guess. At least, for those people who are private school educated. lol

Juniper · 08-26-2008, 12:09 AM

When I met my DH, his mom had serious medical issues and had been an invalid for years, and I guess the condition, her meds, and severe lack of mental stimulation made her kind of loopy. She was a sweet lady, and I'm not talking trash about her, but you couldn't have a conversation with her. It wasn't dementia, she had a fine memory, but her mental processes weren't quite linear.

She's gone now, bless her soul. Now my FIL, who is his own special brand of strange, is quite hale and hearty at 78.

Trilby · 08-26-2008, 12:55 AM

Ali, I think the answer to all the craziness is she's an alcoholic--your words. As an alcoholic myself, I think I can say probably half the time she doesn't know what she's doing or saying. She probably sends the meat over because she may feel remorseful (constant companion to the active alcoholic)

when alcoholics do what we call "drink and dial" they may be in a blackout and have absolutely NO memory of even making the call, let alone what they might have said. The next morning they having nagging doubts, flashes of what might have happened, feel impending doom and are depressed, tearful, and cannot handle these emotions...so,they drink some more to make it all go away. She will always be an alcoholic and the ONLY cure is to stop drinking. I am an alcoholic currently going to daily AA meetings, have a sponsor and am working the steps. If an alcoholic does NOT do the steps, they have very little chance of recovery. Oh, sure, an alcoholic can stop drinking but the alcoholic THINKING is still there until they get help. I love being around sober alcoholics....they TRULY understand me.

I hope she finally sees the light and gets real help. God bless!

Aliantha · 08-26-2008, 01:27 AM

What you say is true about her reactions etc Bri. Unfortunately, it's incredibly unlikely she'll ever change. She also has emphysema (sp?) but refuses to stop smoking and she also has osteoperosis, probably caused in part by drinking too much all her life. She was never the best mother either, so Daryl isn't particularly close with her which is a shame, but I understand after the things he's told me.

I guess miracles happen though. She was supposed to be dead by now, but apparently had a new lease on life when she found out Daryl was getting married. Maybe the baby will give her another reason to think about what she's doing with what she has left of her life. I hope so.

Aliantha · 08-26-2008, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by squirell nutkin

pllllfftttttttttttttt!

What makes you think I went to private school? I went to public school. Were you absent the day they taught about making assumptions? FYI when you make an assumption you make an ass out of you and umption.

pppppfffffffffffftttttttttt!

I don't know what's up your arse today foot3, but I'm glad you've gone to bed or passed out by now. All I can assume (for the sake of not thinking you're just a plain old every day arsehole) is that you just decided to pick me this time round.

Next time I'll just ignore your stupid handle.

08-25-2008, 09:44 PM	#1
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	My strange mother in law I don't think I've mentioned my MIL here before, but today we had a delivery of meat from her and I just think it's weird. There was 6kg of pork sausages. 1 whole king island rump. 2kg of beef mince. 1 leg of lamb and half a leg of ham on the bone. At christmas, she sent us 2 whole legs of ham. Now I'm sure most of you have seen the size of a whole leg of ham on the bone, so you know how much space they take up in the refridgerator. Luckily for us, we were able to clear out some space in the 'drinks' fridge downstairs. Another time she sent us a few kg of prawns, and she also sent us half a dozen bottles of asti riccadona. One time she sent a couple of bottles of bourbon. My MIL is an alcoholic and she often calls when she's been drinking and carries on. When she found out I was pregnant she was pissed off. Now she's happy about it. I'm not sure of the reasons for either. When we were planning our wedding, the thing she was most interested in was if a certain couple of colleagues of Dazza's would be there because she wanted to get into a fight with them (we're talking about a woman who can hardly walk and is wheelchair bound against a 6 foot something tall bloke and his equally tall wife). On the other hand, she gave me almost all of her mothers gold jewellery when she passed away last year (I'm talking thousands of dollars worth) and she says she really likes my Dad and his wife (who is a Phillipina) but at the same time almost, she'll bitch about 'the asians taking over australia'. One of the first things she ever asked me was what religion I am. Luckily for me I'm catholic, and Daryl was worried about her finding out my boys are dark skinned because of her racist attitude. On that note, she recently referred to my boys as pickaninees (which is a term for black kids) and I was pretty pissed off about it. There's lots more, but I just thought I'd put things down that come to mind. How weird is your MIL? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-25-2008, 10:01 PM	#2
squirell nutkin has a second hand user title Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: in a Nut House Posts: 2,017	Did your MIL, by chance, go to public school? Just asking. 'Cause over here racism and prejudice are "core curriculum." __________________ And now I'm finished posting.

08-25-2008, 10:04 PM	#3
classicman barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy. Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 23,401	Don't have one right now THANK GOD! The first one was a psycho. The "hopefully" next one seems wonderful - - - so far. __________________ "like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt

08-25-2008, 11:31 PM	#5
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	Mine passed away last year, and in the last few years, she was fine, but in the beginning HOO WHEE! She was english, upper class, finishing school, all that nonsense. I met my husband when he stayed at the hotel I worked at so he married "The help". We had our rough times, but eventually she worked her panties out of the bunch they were in, and everything was fine. Plus they can't live forever, right? __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

08-25-2008, 11:34 PM	#7
binky all hollowed out Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ridgecrest, CA Posts: 982	Oh and I have a story about the pickaninnie thing. My best friends Grandmother, when they were in a Hometown buffet restaurant in San Diego, filled with black people, says "Oh look at all the sweet little pickaninnies! Keep in mind this was 1985, not 1885! __________________ The meanest Mom EVER!!!!

08-25-2008, 11:39 PM	#10
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I want to say it was around 1991 that my great-uncle tried to convince my little brother that he was calling his "slingshot" by the completely wrong name, those things were called "n---er shooters." __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

08-25-2008, 11:40 PM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	OMG...I've never heard that before. Times have changed I guess. At least, for those people who are private school educated. lol __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

08-26-2008, 12:09 AM	#12
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	When I met my DH, his mom had serious medical issues and had been an invalid for years, and I guess the condition, her meds, and severe lack of mental stimulation made her kind of loopy. She was a sweet lady, and I'm not talking trash about her, but you couldn't have a conversation with her. It wasn't dementia, she had a fine memory, but her mental processes weren't quite linear. She's gone now, bless her soul. Now my FIL, who is his own special brand of strange, is quite hale and hearty at 78.

08-26-2008, 12:55 AM	#13
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	Ali, I think the answer to all the craziness is she's an alcoholic--your words. As an alcoholic myself, I think I can say probably half the time she doesn't know what she's doing or saying. She probably sends the meat over because she may feel remorseful (constant companion to the active alcoholic) when alcoholics do what we call "drink and dial" they may be in a blackout and have absolutely NO memory of even making the call, let alone what they might have said. The next morning they having nagging doubts, flashes of what might have happened, feel impending doom and are depressed, tearful, and cannot handle these emotions...so,they drink some more to make it all go away. She will always be an alcoholic and the ONLY cure is to stop drinking. I am an alcoholic currently going to daily AA meetings, have a sponsor and am working the steps. If an alcoholic does NOT do the steps, they have very little chance of recovery. Oh, sure, an alcoholic can stop drinking but the alcoholic THINKING is still there until they get help. I love being around sober alcoholics....they TRULY understand me. I hope she finally sees the light and gets real help. God bless! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

08-26-2008, 01:27 AM	#14
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	What you say is true about her reactions etc Bri. Unfortunately, it's incredibly unlikely she'll ever change. She also has emphysema (sp?) but refuses to stop smoking and she also has osteoperosis, probably caused in part by drinking too much all her life. She was never the best mother either, so Daryl isn't particularly close with her which is a shame, but I understand after the things he's told me. I guess miracles happen though. She was supposed to be dead by now, but apparently had a new lease on life when she found out Daryl was getting married. Maybe the baby will give her another reason to think about what she's doing with what she has left of her life. I hope so. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

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