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Old 04-07-2009, 09:23 PM   #31
Cicero
Looking forward to open mic night.
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 5,148
I can't get the crazy squirrel out of my car. It won't leave.

(It was the truth, and I wasn't going to have a batshit crazy squirrel run across my body while driving.)
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:09 PM   #32
busterb
NSABFD
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: MS. usa
Posts: 3,908
Once while working around Sacramento, CA. I missed about a weeks work. So I went by to get my money and the boss asked me what happened. I asked him" well you want the truth or a lie?" I'd been on a BIG drunk. He put me back to work and I lasted about another 2 weeks and missed more time. I had coonass country on my mine. Been gone about a year. I've never called in sick or anyother reason. If I miss over a few days, I'm sick of the job! Get my time.
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I've haven't left very deep footprints in the sands of time. But, boy I've left a bunch.
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:19 PM   #33
Stress Puppy
Elite Elitist
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Fresno, CA
Posts: 359
There are two reasons that I'm late typically. The first is because my girlfriend is dropping me off that day and she is physically incapable of leaving on time. The second is because the 8-mile bike ride some times takes longer than I anticipate.
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Mundus vult decipi, ergo decipiatur
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Old 04-07-2009, 10:32 PM   #34
Trilby
Slattern of the Swail
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 15,654
how 'bout Plantar Fasciitis? that really hurts, Charlie.

Takes me a good half hour of hobbling in the morning just to get a cuppa; so, I'm late due to hobbling.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:19 AM   #35
Tulip
Professor
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 1,293
The excuse I used today: I forgot to turn my clock forward so it was an hour behind. Hehe.....Yeah, I was an hour late to work today. :p And that was my real, total honest reason. The clock in my bedroom is still an hour behind.
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Old 04-08-2009, 12:49 AM   #36
Crimson Ghost
Larger than life and twice as ugly.
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 5,264
"I was having 'lady problems'".

"But you're a guy..."

"And my boss is female. Any more questions?"
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We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark.

I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them,
I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period.



Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
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Old 04-08-2009, 09:21 AM   #37
SteveDallas
Your Bartender
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Philly Burbs, PA
Posts: 7,651
When I pulled into the parking lot, there were only 10 minutes left to go on my audiobook, "How To Backstab Your Coworkers And Totally Ruin Your Boss' Career," so I sat and listened to the end.
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Old 04-19-2009, 10:44 PM   #38
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
[Paul Thorn]
Well I was running late for work so I grabbed me some coffee to go
Just before I had a flat tire I spilled it all over my clothes
When the highway patrolman pulled up
I thought that help was on the way
But when he saw that tire tool in my hand
He shot me with the pepper spray

...

When I finally made it to work I was fifteen minutes late
I told my boss about the flat tire but he fired me anyway
So I'm sitting out here in the parking lot waiting by his Corvette
I'm gonna give him a good-bye present he never will forget [/Paul Thorn]
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