The world is going to end and I need you to know about it

Undertoad · 11-27-2013, 09:51 AM

....eh, not really.

Armageddon, the story of how the world ends, is the most important story of all. It's the basis of all religions, and one of the most common themes in storytelling.

As God is losing respect as a force for complete destruction, now we turn to other stories about how we will all die. Meteor from outer space, atomic winter, Y2K, robots taking over, technology going awry, genetic engineering, global warming, overfishing, overpopulation, and other forms of ecological disaster.

It's whatever seems plausible at the time. In the 50s, technology going crazy became a common theme. On December 31, 1999, technology failing due to a simple rounding error was more plausible.

But the reaction I think you should always have is:

NAHHHHHHHHH.

Armageddon has been predicted SO MUCH, and has NEVER come about, for a reason: when you add the end of the world to a story, people listen a lot harder, and share that story a lot harder.

That's all. It's a thing: ideas spread when they are considered important, and here is the most important thing of all. But so far, so good: after millions of predictions of armageddon, all seeming plausible, it has never actually happened. (Duh.)

And now that we have more educated experts than at any time throughout history, it's more likely that we can plan around or fix things, well before things are going desperately wrong. But as stories go, the story where mankind uses its hard-fought knowledge to fix everything is not a story we enjoy repeating. So you won't hear that prediction.

Remember this as you go about the Internets, and you will notice the predictions happening... and the world will be much less scary!

Lamplighter · 11-27-2013, 10:09 AM

Quote:

... and the world will be much less scary!

But scary is a good thing... look at how kids love ghost stories

footfootfoot · 11-27-2013, 10:11 AM

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Armageddon.
Armageddon, who?
Armageddon tired of all these apocalypse fails.

According to Bart Ehrman in his lecture on "Lost Christianities" the book of revelations was just one of many examples of the apocalyptic genre that was popular at the time.
Perhaps it was proto slasher flick

Clodfobble · 11-27-2013, 01:20 PM

Destruction of the world and the human race? Yes, that's silly.

Collapse of society and a return to a much simpler life before the human race figures its shit out and climbs back once again? I'd say that's inevitable. Unlike real Armageddon, societal collapse and turnover has happened many, many times throughout history.

Not saying I think we're on the brink of it at this exact moment. But I believe the cycle will continue as a cycle, not a forever-forward march.

Gravdigr · 11-27-2013, 03:23 PM

One should live one's life as if today is the last day for people on Earth.

lumberjim · 11-27-2013, 10:59 PM

I wonder if the dinosaurs told apocalyptic stories.

Gravdigr · 11-28-2013, 02:05 PM

Shoulda made a different wish on that last falling star...

lumberjim · 11-29-2013, 07:27 AM

Dinosaurs had Walnut brains, but maybe they had just gotten so advanced, that they could think more with less Grey matter. Computer chips keep getting smaller. Maybe their brains had evolved towards miniaturization.

Clodfobble · 11-29-2013, 07:43 AM

Those fancy dinosaur scientists saw the asteroid coming, but the dinosaur astronomers told them that the nearest galaxy was still too far away, they didn't have enough rocket fuel to get them all the way there. So they devised a cunning plan to transfer all their personalities into tiny bird bodies, and convert their giant dinosaur bodies into rocket fuel for the trip. And it would have worked, too! But they just couldn't get off-planet in time. Now they're trapped in bird bodies, watching us burn up all their precious fuel that they worked so hard to make, unable to warn us that they made it for a reason. And when our asteroid comes, we too will not have enough resources to get away, and the birds will laugh, and laugh.

Griff · 11-29-2013, 08:15 AM

holy shit! You figured it all out.

Lamplighter · 11-29-2013, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

holy shit! You figured it all out.

Yes, that's a great story line for a movie...

richlevy · 11-29-2013, 10:03 AM

Armageddon has actually come and gone a few times. In ancient times, when most people were likely to live and die without having traveled more than 50 miles from home, a regional event was 'the end of the world'.

Usually, this involved a volcano, but it could be from an earthquake or even a comet, either directly or from tsunami or flood.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flood_myth

All of this would seem like ancient history if it weren't for the natural disasters we encountered this year as well the meteor near miss in Russia

http://news.discovery.com/space/aste...ely-131107.htm

or the discovery of large undersea volcanoes that come close to matching the largest in our solar system

http://www.foxnews.com/science/2013/...n-earth-found/

(sorry for the FoxNews science link, but they can't be wrong all of the time)

So if you have an event that affects an area of 100 to 1000 miles, that qualifies as 'the end of the world'.

sexobon · 11-29-2013, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Those fancy dinosaur scientists saw the asteroid coming, but the dinosaur astronomers told them that the nearest galaxy was still too far away, they didn't have enough rocket fuel to get them all the way there. So they devised a cunning plan to transfer all their personalities into tiny bird bodies, and convert their giant dinosaur bodies into rocket fuel for the trip. And it would have worked, too! But they just couldn't get off-planet in time. Now they're trapped in bird bodies, watching us burn up all their precious fuel that they worked so hard to make, unable to warn us that they made it for a reason. And when our asteroid comes, we too will not have enough resources to get away, and the birds will laugh, and laugh.

Now we know that the moral of Armageddon is: Bird is the Word!

Pico and ME · 11-30-2013, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Those fancy dinosaur scientists saw the asteroid coming, but the dinosaur astronomers told them that the nearest galaxy was still too far away, they didn't have enough rocket fuel to get them all the way there. So they devised a cunning plan to transfer all their personalities into tiny bird bodies, and convert their giant dinosaur bodies into rocket fuel for the trip. And it would have worked, too! But they just couldn't get off-planet in time. Now they're trapped in bird bodies, watching us burn up all their precious fuel that they worked so hard to make, unable to warn us that they made it for a reason. And when our asteroid comes, we too will not have enough resources to get away, and the birds will laugh, and laugh.

That's fantastic!

Gravdigr · 12-01-2013, 02:30 PM

Is this why the caged bird sings?

11-27-2013, 09:51 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	The world is going to end and I need you to know about it ....eh, not really. Armageddon, the story of how the world ends, is the most important story of all. It's the basis of all religions, and one of the most common themes in storytelling. As God is losing respect as a force for complete destruction, now we turn to other stories about how we will all die. Meteor from outer space, atomic winter, Y2K, robots taking over, technology going awry, genetic engineering, global warming, overfishing, overpopulation, and other forms of ecological disaster. It's whatever seems plausible at the time. In the 50s, technology going crazy became a common theme. On December 31, 1999, technology failing due to a simple rounding error was more plausible. But the reaction I think you should always have is: NAHHHHHHHHH. Armageddon has been predicted SO MUCH, and has NEVER come about, for a reason: when you add the end of the world to a story, people listen a lot harder, and share that story a lot harder. That's all. It's a thing: ideas spread when they are considered important, and here is the most important thing of all. But so far, so good: after millions of predictions of armageddon, all seeming plausible, it has never actually happened. (Duh.) And now that we have more educated experts than at any time throughout history, it's more likely that we can plan around or fix things, well before things are going desperately wrong. But as stories go, the story where mankind uses its hard-fought knowledge to fix everything is not a story we enjoy repeating. So you won't hear that prediction. Remember this as you go about the Internets, and you will notice the predictions happening... and the world will be much less scary!

11-27-2013, 10:11 AM	#3
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Knock, knock. Who's there? Armageddon. Armageddon, who? Armageddon tired of all these apocalypse fails. According to Bart Ehrman in his lecture on "Lost Christianities" the book of revelations was just one of many examples of the apocalyptic genre that was popular at the time. Perhaps it was proto slasher flick __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

11-27-2013, 01:20 PM	#4
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Destruction of the world and the human race? Yes, that's silly. Collapse of society and a return to a much simpler life before the human race figures its shit out and climbs back once again? I'd say that's inevitable. Unlike real Armageddon, societal collapse and turnover has happened many, many times throughout history. Not saying I think we're on the brink of it at this exact moment. But I believe the cycle will continue as a cycle, not a forever-forward march. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

11-27-2013, 03:23 PM	#5
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	One should live one's life as if today is the last day for people on Earth. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-27-2013, 10:59 PM	#6
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	I wonder if the dinosaurs told apocalyptic stories. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

11-28-2013, 02:05 PM	#7
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Shoulda made a different wish on that last falling star... __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

11-29-2013, 07:27 AM	#8
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	Dinosaurs had Walnut brains, but maybe they had just gotten so advanced, that they could think more with less Grey matter. Computer chips keep getting smaller. Maybe their brains had evolved towards miniaturization. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

11-29-2013, 07:43 AM	#9
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Those fancy dinosaur scientists saw the asteroid coming, but the dinosaur astronomers told them that the nearest galaxy was still too far away, they didn't have enough rocket fuel to get them all the way there. So they devised a cunning plan to transfer all their personalities into tiny bird bodies, and convert their giant dinosaur bodies into rocket fuel for the trip. And it would have worked, too! But they just couldn't get off-planet in time. Now they're trapped in bird bodies, watching us burn up all their precious fuel that they worked so hard to make, unable to warn us that they made it for a reason. And when our asteroid comes, we too will not have enough resources to get away, and the birds will laugh, and laugh. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

11-29-2013, 08:15 AM	#10
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	holy shit! You figured it all out. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

11-29-2013, 10:03 AM	#12
richlevy King Of Wishful Thinking Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Philadelphia Suburbs Posts: 6,669	Armageddon has actually come and gone a few times. In ancient times, when most people were likely to live and die without having traveled more than 50 miles from home, a regional event was 'the end of the world'. Usually, this involved a volcano, but it could be from an earthquake or even a comet, either directly or from tsunami or flood. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flood_myth All of this would seem like ancient history if it weren't for the natural disasters we encountered this year as well the meteor near miss in Russia http://news.discovery.com/space/aste...ely-131107.htm or the discovery of large undersea volcanoes that come close to matching the largest in our solar system http://www.foxnews.com/science/2013/...n-earth-found/ (sorry for the FoxNews science link, but they can't be wrong all of the time) So if you have an event that affects an area of 100 to 1000 miles, that qualifies as 'the end of the world'. __________________ Exercise your rights and remember your obligations - VOTE! I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting. -- Barack Hussein Obama

12-01-2013, 02:30 PM	#15
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	Is this why the caged bird sings? __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode