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Old 02-25-2013, 11:19 AM   #541
infinite monkey
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I speak jive:

orphia: of or having to do with dead parents

las: lost

er: her

trell: trail

So: Orphia lost her trail, which symbolizes the love her adoptive parents have for her, having put her on a new trell, I mean trail, in life.
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Old 02-25-2013, 11:23 AM   #542
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I would suggest Orf-EE-ah-LAZE-er-trell.
But that's just a wild stab in the dark. Which is similar to what her mother gave her by landing her with a name like that.

The black children at my school with African names actually have African parents. And I don't mean their parents moved to this country 250 years ago. The mothers are proper African mothers - hot on education, hard slapping and attend church for a couple of hours or more every Sunday.

You gotta love immigrants, the majority are bloody tough. The real problems come when cultures collide and especially when the people come from dangerous places - warzones and oppression as opposed to Australia. Different rules of behaviour apply when you live like that, and it's hard to leave them behind.

Never mind. I have great faith in the civilising influence of England.
We'll have them sipping tea and inviting the Vicar round for sherry within a few generations.
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Old 02-25-2013, 11:31 AM   #543
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundae View Post
The black children at my school with African names actually have African parents.
Most of these names have no trace of Africa in them, but are instead challenges of how many syllables can be thrown together.

Some former students:
Myson (cuz he was, you know, her son)
Shakeitha
G-money
D'Errica
Kyshaun

I'm forgetting most of the good ones now that I've been out of the classroom a while...
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:08 PM   #544
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there's a poem by a Jamaican woman living in England who is bewildered by all the meals/rituals English people live by. I can't get my paste/copy to work but it's called What Fee Call I' by Valerie Bloom. It's really witty. Google it if you're interested.

It's written in pidgen.


wow. This is way, waaaaaay off topic.

I hope you don't get stabbed in the dark like OpheliaMonsterName did, Toad. Who'd watch the cellar then?

eta: IMHO people who give their children names like that aren't doing the kid any favors unless said kid is unbelievably beautiful when he/she grows up.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:57 PM   #545
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Originally Posted by jimhelm View Post
Phoenetically, please?
Would that be the Phoenician phonetic?
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Old 02-25-2013, 02:08 PM   #546
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well, didn't the Phoenicians invent the alphabet?
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Old 02-25-2013, 02:34 PM   #547
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Phoenicialee Phoenicialah
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:29 PM   #548
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Le-a
Pronounced, Lee dash ah.
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Old 02-26-2013, 04:05 PM   #549
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Originally Posted by footfootfoot View Post
That's one of the reasons I left the city. I like that peple can leave their stuff out around here.

I think I already posted about one time my BIL came to visit and saw a huge pile of carpenters tools on the grass near the curb in front of my neighbor's house. He asked me what was up with the tools. I told him someone borrowed my neighbors truck and took the tools out.

At lunch, they were still there and my BIL was surprised. At dusk they were still there and he couldn't have been more amazed.

The only thing that was stolen from my yard in 12 years was a raccoon trap. WTF?
Have you seen a raccoon? They look like banditos with that little mask. And those little hands? I think we all know who took your trap. Means, motive, and mask. Guilty!
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Old 02-26-2013, 05:04 PM   #550
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Not too many raccoons around here, actually. Woodchucks, skunks, and possums. I think it may have been a rainbow coalition of them.
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Old 02-26-2013, 07:12 PM   #551
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The woodchucks have been warned...
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:03 PM   #552
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As PTSD sets in, the beginning of the day becomes no fun. I wonder what shit will be thrown at me next.

This time it starts with the first phone call of the day. A woman asks if we take leather. I say no, that's not something the pawn shop deals with. She says, slowly and deliberately, sarcastically, in her bitchiest of old croney voices, "That's - not - what - your - advertisement - says !"

I say sorry, and hang up.

Except for the website, the shop does not do advertising of any kind.

~

At the end of the day a guy comes in with a tablet. What you need to know: the low-end market has been flooded with cheap 7" Android tablets. They suuuuck. The touchscreens are shitty, the plastic cases are flimsy, the displays are horrible. We call them "Shenzhen specials" -- because that's where they're all made, then sold at shitty dollar stores for low prices and people get suckered into buying them.

This guy has one of those, and we notice that this model has sold for under $50 on eBay. We have to wait 90 days to sell it, so we are probably not going to even get that. It's a risk. So we might buy it for $10, but not a dollar more, and it would be the least interesting deal of the day.

This reluctant offer freezes the guy. He's in some weird position now where he really REALLY wants to sell it, but claims to have bought it at $150 days earlier, and is trying to piece together how his situation has come to this. Is the pawn shop trying to rip him off? I try to explain how the risk comes into it for us, but it seems beyond his level of intelligence. Did he get ripped off when he bought it? Partly yes, and maybe he bought it on the street or from a person rather than a store.

"Can't I get 20 for it?" "It's not worth that to us." "Aw man can't I just get 15?" "Look, if I thought I could turn around and sell this for 50 I would be an idiot not to offer you 15. But I'm not offering you 15. That should tell you something about what it's worth."

We continue this retard dance of questions, befuddled reasoning, and "It is what it is" that goes on for 30 minutes. I do not exaggerate. It involves mostly me, but also Alan, who figures he should tag team me for a while so I get some relief. I should say that the guy made a five minute phone call to a friend, in the middle of this, trying vainly to understand it all and figure out what to do.

By the end of it, the guy seems to believe us when we say we are not in the business of ripping him off. But he still can't understand it all and doesn't know what to do. He morosely leaves the shop with his shit tablet, and we all high five that the guy has finally left us. We speculate on maybe just never buying in any Shenzhens if the people just don't understand that they are worth nothing.

But fifteen minutes later, and ten minutes before closing, THE GUY COMES BACK IN... and starts annoying us further with retard logic. Finally I point out that we are closing and what does he want to do? He wants to sell it. And we buy it. Ten bucks, deal done.
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Old 02-27-2013, 01:34 AM   #553
xoxoxoBruce
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undertoad View Post
This time it starts with the first phone call of the day. A woman asks if we take leather. I say no, that's not something the pawn shop deals with. She says, slowly and deliberately, sarcastically, in her bitchiest of old croney voices, "That's - not - what - your - advertisement - says !"
Just tell her to bring the ad with her.
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:00 AM   #554
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when you're drunk or on crack or what have you it's hard to read the adverts.
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In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic.

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
óJames Barrie


Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum
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Old 02-28-2013, 03:59 PM   #555
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This joke has never failed to crack somebody up.

Customer: I wanna get one of those adult movies.
Alan's brother Dan: No problem... right-handed or left-handed?

~

This happened just now:

Woman: Do you carry engagement rings for men?
Sammy: Where would those be worn... on the finger?
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