The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Home Base

Home Base A starting point, and place for threads don't seem to belong anywhere else

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-12-2017, 05:11 PM   #1
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 30,390
If I Were The Devil...



That is just too on the nose.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-12-2017, 10:32 PM   #2
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 60,270
Paul Harvey revised that piece a couple times over the years. There are a couple versions on the net, attributed to him, that are not even close.
__________________
Everything is interesting... look closer.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2017, 10:41 PM   #3
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 24,236
He sounds pretty square.


*And* whiny.
__________________
Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2017, 11:09 PM   #4
Undertoad
Miserable contrarian
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 28,754
I don't understand the part where the devil has control of a third of the world's real estate and four-fifths of its population
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2017, 11:24 PM   #5
BigV
Goon Squad Leader
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
Posts: 24,236
Where all da heathens at?
__________________
Remember:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones. -- Marcus Aurelius, philosopher and writer (121-180)
BigV is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2017, 12:49 AM   #6
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 60,270
Heathen = non-Christians = Hindus, Muslims, Shintos, Buddhists, et al.
__________________
Everything is interesting... look closer.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2017, 10:59 AM   #7
Undertoad
Miserable contrarian
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 28,754
So according to Mr Harvey God created a world where 80% of the population is damned to darkness and eternal punishment because they didn't hear of him.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2017, 03:21 PM   #8
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 30,390
You all have my sincerest apologies.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2017, 03:25 PM   #9
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 60,270
Yes, the devil got them first. If only they hadn't eaten that missionary.

A guy I know in GA wrote a wonderful four part story about the devil at work.
An excerpt... Satan called on the carpet for personally killing a human is talking to Gabriel and St Michael.

Quote:
“I told you I am done and I am.” Satan said. “I broke our agreement. You are well within your rights to replace me. Are we through here?”
“You’re bluffing.” Michael sneered at Satan. “You’re trying to extort something out of us in exchange for you staying.”
“Hold on, Michael.” Gabriel said as he stood up. “Okay, Nick, what’s your terms, what do you want?”
“Don’t call me that.” Satan replied. “I’m not bluffing. I’m tired. I’ve been doing this for nearly eight thousand years. It’s getting old. It’s the same thing all the time. I lived in peace with the way things were for thirteen billion years. I miss that. This is a failed experiment. Call Junior and tell him to end it now, because my work here is done. I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“Do not blasphemy in this place!” Michael warned. “You will not like it.”
“You know you cannot tinker with the timing of the end, and you know we cannot either.” Gabriel said. “You walk off and there is no telling what will happen. As bad as you are your control over some of the worst human beings is better than allowing them to run free.”
“So you do it, Michael.” Satan replied with a sigh. “We were brothers once. You listened to me. I thought you would have joined me. Now you can replace me. You were ready to fire me when this conversation began and now you’re trying to convince me to stay. That’s a bad way to punish me. And now I know you’ll buckle if I threaten to leave. I have to go now, you’ve spoiled me.” Satan laughed hard.

“I was taking all bets that all of this drama you created over Philadelphia Studstill was in the name of your next Anti-Christ.” Gabriel said after a few minutes. “That was a cute piece of work, tricking us into stopping time for this guy, and then tricking him into staying so we couldn’t interfere. You got everything you wanted the way you wanted it, and then, suddenly, you kill him when he’s just over a year old. Then you execute the same Anti-Christ you went to so much trouble to save, and now you’re just going to walk off?”
“Yes.” Satan replied. “Yes, I am.”
“You are evil, but rarely stupid, and you’ve never been impulsive. You’re a long game player, Nick, and this isn’t like you at all.” Michael said.
“Don’t call me that.” Satan replied evenly. “That name is dead. And I am leaving. Do whatever the Hell you want, just do it without me.”
__________________
Everything is interesting... look closer.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-14-2017, 03:33 PM   #10
Undertoad
Miserable contrarian
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 28,754
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gravdigr View Post
You all have my sincerest apologies.
Naw man, we can still appreciate the sentiment and the fact that you shared it, and have this kind of discussion about it anyway
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:17 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.