Narcissistic Personality Disorder (a novella, sorry)

[Undertoad]

Hi Cellar! I've just ended a year and a half of employment where my boss suffered from narcissistic personality disorder.

Of all the personality disorders one might have, here is the one that you really don't want your boss to have. You are supposed to have five or more of these to qualify as NPD. He pretty much has them all.

-- Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

-- Requires excessive admiration

-- Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

-- Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

-- Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

-- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

-- Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

-- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

-- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

He would routinely shock and amaze me with fratboy statements out of nowhere. He seemed to want to impress me with his incredible levels of sexism, or to include me in his unevolved shit. He once said he thinks women are useless, during a discussion of how he enjoyed the strippers they had at a golf outing. I was often left speechless by insane levels of douchebaggery.

When we would talk about my counterpart in Britain, he would inevitably point out that he was a fat ugly slob and could not get laid. My counterpart was a normal human being with a wife and teenage children. My boss was also married with younger children. I imagine they got laid at a similar rate. My boss had never met my support counterpart in person and had only seen pictures.

He has absolutely zero empathy for others. Makes no emotional connection with others. He once asked me why he couldn't teach people. His method was to ask people leading questions they didn't know the answer to, embarrassing them, and making them feel like shit. The implication is, here is something I know and you don't know. Why don't you know it? Fix yourself! It is the least effective method of teaching I've ever seen. He said that it was the best way anyone had ever taught HIM.

The dynamic of the office meant he had to teach everyone an awful lot in order for the office to be successful.

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