Corrupted Wish - Page 4

ashke · 10-25-2005, 10:55 PM

The sun blows up and we all live in perpetual darkness. But then we freeze to death.

I wish I can finish my paper topic today.

Elspode · 10-25-2005, 11:40 PM

You finish your paper topic today, but then you discover that you have forgotten to prepare for a test, you are going to class in nothing but your underwear, and you have forgotten your locker combination.

I wish that I *knew how* to do plumbing.

Tonchi · 10-26-2005, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

I wish that I *knew how* to do plumbing.

You are now able to flawlessly accomplish any plumbing task, due to the overnight "Edward Scissorhands"-type growth of plumber's tools on your arms and toilet plungers on your legs.

I wish I could get a scholarship to finish my Masters Degree.

Sundae · 10-26-2005, 05:28 AM

You discover that by virtue of your name and birth date you qualify for a scholarship set up by an eccentric millionaire. It not only covers your tuition fees but also provides a housing, clothing & social budget. Wow!

Sadly, the year after you graduate there is a successful coup by a Khmer Rouge style regime. The educated and intellectual classes are forced to work menial and backbreaking tasks or risk torture and/ or summary execution.

I wish it was payday today instead of tomorrow.

BigV · 10-26-2005, 10:47 AM

Careful what you wish for. You may pick up your check at the front desk immediately. You're fired.

I wish I could remember the login credentials for this stinkin router.

Elspode · 10-26-2005, 11:29 AM

You suddenly recall the login credentials, but are struck by a freak surge of electricity just as you finish typing them in on the keyboard. For the rest of your life, all you are able to say is, "username...password...username...password"

I wish that I could take a vacation trip.

smoothmoniker · 10-26-2005, 12:16 PM

you decide to take a little vacation trip. Unfortunately, you decide to take it in the copy room at work. The same day, your boss decides to do a random drug test, and they find the LSD in your pee.

I wish the little rubber pads on the bottom of my laptop didn't keep falling off.

BigV · 10-26-2005, 01:06 PM

The local hardware store has some ingenious doublesided tape that can be cut to fit those little feet and the sockets into which they fit. Voila'! The feet are firmly attached to your laptop. You discover that they are *permanently* attached when you try to follow the support tech's simple instructions to reset your machine and you cannot access the microswitch under the cover held in place by the screw forever hidden by the little rubber foot. But hey it will never mar your coffee table.

I wish I had sufficient discipline in my personal life to exercise more.

wolf · 10-26-2005, 01:11 PM

You begin to exercise with an almost religious-like fervor, but keep at it until you make this guy look normal. You are unable to bend your arms enough to feed yourself, become bedridden, and waste away to a former shadow of your less-active self.

I wish I had a nice, quiet, 9-5 office job.

mrnoodle · 10-26-2005, 01:24 PM

You get a nice, quiet, 9-5 job working in Bill Clinton's office. Fellating him.

I wish they'd let me take home a copy of the software I installed at work today.

Elspode · 10-26-2005, 01:36 PM

Your employer lets you take home a copy of the software you installed at work today, then a coworker turns both you and your boss in for piracy in order to receive financial gain, and remove the last two obstacles to their advancement.

I wish that the Chiefs were 6-0 right now.

lumberjim · 10-26-2005, 01:42 PM

the morning paper arrives with CHIEFS 6-0 in bold on the cover. In reading the story though, you find that Priest Holmes tore an ACL, and is done for the year.

I wish the next person to post would think of something really really funny to say.

Elspode · 10-26-2005, 01:45 PM

The next person to post says something really, really funny, and you laugh so hard that you aspirate your ham and cheese sandwich, falling forward and impaling your head on the hood ornament of the Lexus SUV you were dealing for as a tradein on a new hybrid econobox. It takes three hours to surgically remove the smile from the face of the customer, who dies laughing.

I wish that the Chiefs had two Larry Johnsons to take up the rest of Priest Holmes' slack this season.

plthijinx · 10-26-2005, 02:21 PM

granted. the chiefs now have 2 Larry Johnsons. the only problem is: their both Ghey and so into each other no one can get them to come out of the showers for any practices, let alone games.

i wish i had an ice cold heineken right now.

Pie · 10-26-2005, 02:44 PM

You have an ice-cold heineken -- thrown in your face by the attractive chick you just insulted at a bar. And her steroid-using boyfriend is coming over to see what the fuss is all about...

I wish my boss would see why his idea won't work.

10-25-2005, 11:40 PM	#47
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	You finish your paper topic today, but then you discover that you have forgotten to prepare for a test, you are going to class in nothing but your underwear, and you have forgotten your locker combination. I wish that I knew how to do plumbing. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-26-2005, 10:47 AM	#50
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Careful what you wish for. You may pick up your check at the front desk immediately. You're fired. I wish I could remember the login credentials for this stinkin router. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-26-2005, 11:29 AM	#51
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	You suddenly recall the login credentials, but are struck by a freak surge of electricity just as you finish typing them in on the keyboard. For the rest of your life, all you are able to say is, "username...password...username...password" I wish that I could take a vacation trip. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-26-2005, 12:16 PM	#52
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	you decide to take a little vacation trip. Unfortunately, you decide to take it in the copy room at work. The same day, your boss decides to do a random drug test, and they find the LSD in your pee. I wish the little rubber pads on the bottom of my laptop didn't keep falling off. __________________ to live and die in LA

10-26-2005, 01:06 PM	#53
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	The local hardware store has some ingenious doublesided tape that can be cut to fit those little feet and the sockets into which they fit. Voila'! The feet are firmly attached to your laptop. You discover that they are permanently attached when you try to follow the support tech's simple instructions to reset your machine and you cannot access the microswitch under the cover held in place by the screw forever hidden by the little rubber foot. But hey it will never mar your coffee table. I wish I had sufficient discipline in my personal life to exercise more. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-25-2005, 10:55 PM	#46
ashke Don't look at me! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Singapore Posts: 288	The sun blows up and we all live in perpetual darkness. But then we freeze to death. I wish I can finish my paper topic today.

10-26-2005, 05:28 AM	#49
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	You discover that by virtue of your name and birth date you qualify for a scholarship set up by an eccentric millionaire. It not only covers your tuition fees but also provides a housing, clothing & social budget. Wow! Sadly, the year after you graduate there is a successful coup by a Khmer Rouge style regime. The educated and intellectual classes are forced to work menial and backbreaking tasks or risk torture and/ or summary execution. I wish it was payday today instead of tomorrow.

10-26-2005, 01:11 PM	#54
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	You begin to exercise with an almost religious-like fervor, but keep at it until you make this guy look normal. You are unable to bend your arms enough to feed yourself, become bedridden, and waste away to a former shadow of your less-active self. I wish I had a nice, quiet, 9-5 office job. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-26-2005, 01:24 PM	#55
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	You get a nice, quiet, 9-5 job working in Bill Clinton's office. Fellating him. I wish they'd let me take home a copy of the software I installed at work today. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

10-26-2005, 01:36 PM	#56
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Your employer lets you take home a copy of the software you installed at work today, then a coworker turns both you and your boss in for piracy in order to receive financial gain, and remove the last two obstacles to their advancement. I wish that the Chiefs were 6-0 right now. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-26-2005, 01:42 PM	#57
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	the morning paper arrives with CHIEFS 6-0 in bold on the cover. In reading the story though, you find that Priest Holmes tore an ACL, and is done for the year. I wish the next person to post would think of something really really funny to say. __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-26-2005, 01:45 PM	#58
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	The next person to post says something really, really funny, and you laugh so hard that you aspirate your ham and cheese sandwich, falling forward and impaling your head on the hood ornament of the Lexus SUV you were dealing for as a tradein on a new hybrid econobox. It takes three hours to surgically remove the smile from the face of the customer, who dies laughing. I wish that the Chiefs had two Larry Johnsons to take up the rest of Priest Holmes' slack this season. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-26-2005, 02:21 PM	#59
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	granted. the chiefs now have 2 Larry Johnsons. the only problem is: their both Ghey and so into each other no one can get them to come out of the showers for any practices, let alone games. i wish i had an ice cold heineken right now. __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

10-26-2005, 02:44 PM	#60
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	You have an ice-cold heineken -- thrown in your face by the attractive chick you just insulted at a bar. And her steroid-using boyfriend is coming over to see what the fuss is all about... I wish my boss would see why his idea won't work. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

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