The Cellar  

Go Back   The Cellar > Main > Parenting

Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-31-2013, 05:53 PM   #31
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,477
Well, we are at the same point in the road here, and both our boys will probably go to Griffith uni which has a number of campuses, but they will most likely go to the one that's 20 mins drive from here so they can live here, focus on their study and avoid unnecessary financial challenges. Also, i think they like the food here.
__________________
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber
Aliantha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2013, 06:42 AM   #32
infinite monkey
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 13,002
JBK...read your poem and commented in thread (it's awesome)

phone posts funny sI'll try a better reply re: college choices when I can.
infinite monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2013, 03:43 PM   #33
Gravdigr
The Un-Tuckian
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 33,130
from YahooNews

Quote:
IOWA CITY, Iowa (AP) The Princeton Review released its annual college rankings on Monday, including the 2014 edition of the Top 20 party schools in the nation.

1. University of Iowa, Iowa City, Iowa

2. University of California, Santa Barbara, Santa Barbara, Calif.

3. University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Urbana, Ill.

4. West Virginia University, Morgantown W. Va.

5. Syracuse University, Syracuse, N.Y.

6. University of Florida, Gainesville, Fla.

7. Ohio University, Athens, Ohio

8. University of Wisconsin-Madison, Madison, Wis.

9. Penn State University, University Park, Pa.

10. Lehigh University, Bethlehem, Pa.

11. University of Georgia, Athens, Ga.

12. Florida State University, Tallahassee, Fla.

13. DePauw University, Greencastle, Ind.

14. University of Mississippi, University, Miss.

15. University of Texas at Austin, Austin, Texas

16. Miami University of Ohio, Oxford, Ohio

17. University of Maryland, College Park, Md.

18. Tulane University, New Orleans, La.

19. University of Vermont, Burlington, Vt.

20. University of Oregon, Eugene, Ore.
I notice Marshall University is not on the list...I'm kinda shocked, they ain't called 'The Stumbling Herd' fer nuttin'. Their real team name is The Thundering Herd.
__________________


These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.
Gravdigr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-05-2013, 04:32 PM   #34
Lamplighter
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
Gsheesh, what happened to Hawaii and Colorado (Boulder).

Those were the party schools in my day.
Lamplighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2013, 09:23 PM   #35
xoxoxoBruce
The future is unwritten
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 63,102
That's bullshit, every school is a party school if you want it to be.
__________________
Everything is interesting... look closer.
xoxoxoBruce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 03:22 PM   #36
Pete Zicato
Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB.
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago suburbs
Posts: 2,916
Monster - As you know we've just been through this with the Zings. Feel free to call me if you want some free advice. It's more than I feel like typing out.
__________________


Talk nerdy to me.
Pete Zicato is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 04:10 PM   #37
orthodoc
Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Monkey View Post
Yeah, I got a $500 "scholarship" offer from Cornell. It wasn't quite enough to get me to brave their winters.
Yeah ... I had that sort of 'scholarship' from Canadian universities, including my med school. Too bad the scholarship was about 1% of the tuition.

My third son just updated me on current college 'party culture', which is to drink to unconsciousness every Friday AND Saturday. He did not attend an official party school. He bowed out of the drinking culture for his own reasons but has many friends who participated.

I have a hard time relating to that. I went to 'college' (university, in Canada - college was something different) in an atmosphere where there certainly were bars and student drinking establishments, but the goal was to become pleasantly buzzed without actually impairing your ability to think. Most of the grad students indulged in a couple of beers and then went back to the lab. That was it. So my perception of 'college drinking culture' was very different from my children's experience.

After what was possibly the worst final exam of our lives (Thermodynamics, taught by a prof with zero teaching skillz), my then-current bf, current husband, and I repaired to the Grad Students' Bar, The Downstairs John, and each ordered a double Black Russian. The server squinted at us doubtfully and said, 'Are you sure? You want - a double? You're sure?' and went away shaking her head. There was no 'drink until you die' ethos going on there.

It's been an education, learning about the American college drinking culture. So strange. It's the best argument I can think of for lowering the legal drinking age.
__________________
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi
orthodoc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 04:19 PM   #38
orthodoc
Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 3,771
To get back to the point, it depends on whether your child wants athletics or academics more, monster. I think there are relatively few kids who know what they want academically on high school graduation (although I was one, and I know there are more) - but if you can find a school that will let your child swim/do WP AND pursue some respectable academics, carry on.

My personal view is that universities are for academics, period. But I know that's not a popular stance in the US.

Just avoid the 'party schools' unless you know your child will avoid the parties. That's a road you don't want to go down, at least in my experience.
__________________
The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi
orthodoc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2013, 04:56 PM   #39
Lamplighter
Person who doesn't update the user title
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bottom lands of the Missoula floods
Posts: 6,402
Quote:
After what was possibly the worst final exam of our lives
(Thermodynamics, taught by a prof with zero teaching skillz),...
I know that prof ! .... His initials were M.L., Jr.

He taught our course also, entitled "Physical Chemistry for Pre-Med and Pre-Dental Students".

At the mid-term, everyone in the class had a "D" or "F"
A group of us asked for an conference, where we complained (whined) about his lectures
which were almost purely the mathematical derivations of the equations of physical chemistry.
He tried to change his approach in the rest of the course, but it was still awful.
He ended up giving passing grades to everyone, but he and we all knew it was a farce and fiasco.
Lamplighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2013, 11:39 AM   #40
piercehawkeye45
Franklin Pierce
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 3,695
Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
Thanks guys. We'll certainly be road-tripping, but I just have no idea what's good and what's not. Is it really not that big a deal as long as you get a degree?
In my opinion, as long as your daughter takes advantage of opportunities and remains top of her class, she will most likely be fine no matter the University or degree. However, I would just argue that some degrees and schools provide more opportunities than others.

If she is undecided of what to do academically, which is completely understandable at 16, going to a school that has a lot to offer is a good idea. It can be surprising what fields people eventually choose. I would push her to research different fields and get an idea of what she likes and is good at, which makes the decision process easier, but options are likely the best bet right now.

There is nothing wrong with going to a school specifically for sports but she must recognize that if swimming does not go as planned, her options are more limited. This is only a single instance, and I know of happier stories, but my best friend from high school went to a school specifically for football, didn't like it, and now regrets wasting two years at that school because of the lack of options.

Price tag is important. Sometimes more expensive school (private schools) are the way to go but make sure there is a clear vision if you do that. A lot of expensive private schools are very good in a few fields (worth it) but no better than cheaper schools in most other fields (not worth it). The same can be said for top state schools versus smaller state schools but to a lesser degree.

All in all, there is no single "best path" to take. Just be adaptive and open to opportunities. I know this is vague advice but I hope it helped. To give some background of where my perspective is coming from, I went to a Big 10 school (University of Minnesota) for undergrad with no idea of what I wanted to do when I got there.

Quote:
U of M would be fantastic were it not right on the doorstep. literally walkable. It's closer than all her schools.
Agreed. The best decision of my life was going to a school 5 1/2 hours away from home. Nothing wrong with saying close, I know a lot of people who did it, but I am very happy with my decision.

Quote:
Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce
That's bullshit, every school is a party school if you want it to be.
Very true. I am at the #3 party school in the country right now and it really isn't much different than Minnesota. It is all about who you hang with.

My advice on partying...be smart and don't let it control you. It is very possible to get very good grades and be ambitious while get trashed three or four times a week. However, to do that, you have your shit together and know limits. Many people are able to balance work and drinking (work hard play hard...) but other people fall down the rabbit hole. Just be careful and know priorities.
__________________
I like my perspectives like I like my baseball caps: one size fits all.
piercehawkeye45 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2013, 12:19 PM   #41
Undertoad
Miserable contrarian
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Cottage of Prussia
Posts: 29,407
"It is very possible to get very good grades and be ambitious while get trashed three or four times a week."

~ that is to say ~

Some people are functional alcoholics in their youth.
Undertoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-09-2013, 01:46 PM   #42
Griff
still says videotape
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 23,193
Word. I was very skillful, got the grades, never missed a bender, and never really learned how to be. I learned late but at least I learned.
__________________
If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you.
- Louis D. Brandeis
Griff is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2013, 06:39 AM   #43
glatt
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 26,394
Can you be an alcoholic and then grow out of it? I'd get absolutely trashed 1-2 nights a week in college. Blackout trashed. Throwing up trashed.

I wasn't a stellar student. A bit too lazy. College was a lot of work and I only wanted to do enough work to get by. And I did.

Anyway, I haven't been trashed in 25 years or so. But I'll have a drink or maybe two pretty much every evening. Any more than that and I sleep poorly.
glatt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-11-2013, 07:37 AM   #44
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 18,821
One of the tenets of AA is that you are always "a recovering alcoholic," no matter how many years you've been sober. But being an alcoholic means not being able to control your usage, whether it is one drink every single day, or getting trashed a couple times a week--the line is whether you can easily stop the pattern when needed. By this textbook definition there are a whole lot of functioning alcoholics in America, and a whole lot of people who are functioning addicts of other substances as well.
__________________
My book
My spirit animal
Clodfobble is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-13-2013, 04:55 AM   #45
Aliantha
trying hard to be a better person
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,477
Some weeks I can drink a whole bottle of wine every night and then I don't drink anything the next week, then sometimes I might have one or two glasses each night for a couple of weeks then get completely trashed on spirits next weekend. Of course, I never drink when I'm pregnant, and never if I have to drive anywhere.

Sometimes I wonder if I have a problem, but then i think about the fact that I have no trouble not drinking when it's necessary or even if I just don't really feel like it. What makes me wonder is the days when the kids are driving me nuts and I'm just hanging out for when the little ones go to bed so I can crack open a bottle.
__________________
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber
Aliantha is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:12 AM.


Powered by: vBulletin Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.